Wednesday, April 23, 2014

ZAAAAPP!

Out with the old, in with the new... but not until we finish up with our last look at Action Comics #295!

First, it's a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)


This has been a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

I've probably mentioned that I grew up in a town of about 35,000.  It didn't have everything, but it was a decent enough size where you didn't have to drive to the nearest city for everything... just a lot of things.

But I've also lived in towns as small as 1,000 people.  This is pretty much my take-away from my stints in Small Town America:


Yeah, that about sums it up.

This cracked me up:


The way the father breaks the news about brother getting killed in a mountain-climbing accident is priceless.  "Your brother?  Oh, he fell into a meat grinder at the slaughterhouse.  Pass the mashed potatoes."

And I hate to point this out, but if dad wants to keep things a secret from his kid, he probably shouldn't say those things out loud right in front of her.  I'm no parenting expert, but I would think that some protocols just make sense.

I loves me some comics.  I truly do.

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

The Greatest Superman Story Ever, Part 2

Once again, through the awesome power of editing, I bring you more of the Greatest Superman Story Ever Told, as adapted from Action Comics #295:









See?  Finally, a Superman story worth reading.  You are welcome.

See you tomorrow!

Monday, April 21, 2014

The Greatest Superman Story Ever

And now, through the magic of cutting out everything that happened before and after, I bring you the most awesome Superman story ever told, courtesy of Action Comics #297:





Best. Superman story.  EVER.

See you tomorrow!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Weenies! Yum!

Dear Ones, this will be the last post of the week because of the holiday tomorrow.  So, let's check out Action Comics  #269 to round out the week!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:


Superman's roster of foes leaves a lot to be desired.

But it did give us this great CMNS Moment of Comic Book Greatness (tm!):


I mean, he's no Baby Face Finster, but Lois's reaction to him is hilarious.

Hey!  It's time for Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)


YEAH!

Meanwhile:


Didn't Superman fall for a mermaid?  What is it with Kryptonians and people who are half fish?

Ugh.  Let's finish with this last bit of Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)


See you Monday!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

In Which I Probably Manage to Offend My Entire Readership

There are times where I go through a comic and see things and wonder if I'm just being a dirty-birdy.  I don't work blue here at CMNS because that's lazy writing.  But there are times where I just have to wonder.

For instance:


Where the heck is Archie right now?  Is he at a sperm bank or something?  Between the two young ladies "sharing the chair" and the magazine he's being offered, I'm wondering if he isn't there to make a deposit.

But again, am I just being a dirty-birdy?

Anyway, further in the ish: 


First, what Veronica said made me laugh.

Secondly, I'm pretty sure Archie is confused as to where Veronica's eyes are.

Next I saw a "Katy Keene" feature.  It was one of those things where people sent in fashion ideas or sketches or something in the hopes of seeing them in print.  It's a pretty shameless way to get readers... although now I'm wondering if I should be doing that around here.

Anyway, I can say with a fair amount of certainty...


... that Mrs. Earl Sands of Syracuse, N.Y. did not ever have an actual career in fashion design.

But Katy shows us all how to do a breast self-exam, so there's that:


I'm not sure how long a breast self-exam takes, but apparently it goes on for a long time:


Hmmmm.... I'm not trying to armchair quarterback Frank Knight of Sinton, Texas, but I'm pretty sure most ladies would appreciate a strap or some other means of actually keeping the dress attached to the body.  And what's with those huge honkin' flowers?

Anyway, I certainly try to keep the high road, but some days it just seems like there's almost a conspiracy to make me put things on the blog that...


... oh, COME ON!  Tell me you don't think this looks like a group of kids going on a field trip to an opium den.  Was there ever heroin in Baby Ruth candy bars?  Probably not, but they look disproportionately happy to me.  And calling yourself "Pals in pleasure" is just asking for the local vice cops to hassle you.

Although the phrase, "Pals in Pleasure" reminded me of one of my favorite albums from my youth: Charlie Sexton's Pictures for Pleasure.  Let's jam!



We'll start fresh tomorrow, my lovelies!  See you then!  

Monday, April 14, 2014

Awaken, Superman!

Starting off the week with another first (I think)!  It's not often I find Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!) in ads, but here it is as we look at Action Comics #268!


I admit... those are novel choices, but I've already got "too fat" and "poor at sports" in my inventory, if you know what I mean.  If there was a category called "should be ashamed of your body but not so much that you're willing to lay off the Pringles," I'd have that covered as well.  Still, I give them credit for not making inflated promises.

Anyway, you may recall that Superman had run into Hercules, and everything was going pretty well until a woman entered the picture (ain't that always the way?).  Which gave rise to this great piece of dialogue: 


I'm going to work, "Is that clear, Hercules?" into my daily conversations.

Hey!  Random Bitch-Slap! (tm!)


I've got to say that the conflict was kind of a let-down.  They didn't really fight each other directly, opting instead to try and outdo each other with super stunts.  Which, considering the 12 labors of Hercules of myth, could have been a homage to that, but I don't think anyone was thinking that hard about it.

I'll put it this way: The final strike involved Hercules playing a flute and Superman falling asleep (like most of the readers at this point):


It's not just love.  It's SUPER-love!  Because anything to do with Superman is SUPER-whatever.  Insert your own "what happens in the toilet at the Fortress of Solitude" joke here.

Hey!  It's SUPER-Women's Intuition!


And before you ask... they put the thought balloon on the wrong girl.  That's Supergirl on the left in her civilian ID and an imposter on the right.  I guess the imposter fooled the letterer, which is kind of funny in it's own way.

See you tomorrow!

Friday, April 11, 2014

Women with Big Arched Eyebrows be Trouble

We're running out of Shield appearances in Pep Comics, so let's enjoy one of the last remaining ones from issue #63!


No, not that Ted Kennedy.


He was to be married shortly?  To her?


I don't know... if he was looking at a life with that woman, he may have taken the easy way out.  She looks a little.... shall we say, stern.  Really, Toots?  You can't even fake a single tear?

And a bunch of stuff happens, and as will come to a surprise to no one:


Really, Dusty?  You can't handle one woman with a handgun who isn't even paying attention to you right now?  Worst. Sidekick. Ever.


So she's held Dusty hostage for who-knows how many hours that it took the Shield to figure this thing out and Dusty just sat there and took it?  Put on your big boy pants, Dusty!


Finally!


Whoops!  Maybe trying to take her on wasn't such a hot idea after all.  Sorry, Dusty!  Sorta.  I kind of yearn for your demise, so I can only muster up a qualified apology.  That's the best you're going to get out of an American these days.


Hey, not so rough, Shield!  I'm starting to warm up to her!  She did shoot Dusty, after all.

And no matter what the rest of the story said, Dusty is dead.  And I'll hear no more of it.

Meanwhile, let's end the week with the start a new meme!  I like to call this one...

Well, THAT Looks Uncomfortable! (tm!)


Well, THAT Looks Uncomfortable! (tm!)

See you Monday!