Friday, July 11, 2008


Just a quick digression here. As much as I never understood why Popeye and Bluto fought over Olive Oyl (a very unfortunate-looking woman), this makes even less sense to me:

I suppose Popeye and Bluto had been at sea a long time, and they really weren't that attractive themselves, but why do Betty and Veronica bother with Archie? Both Betty and Veronica are pretty and some guys like the girl-next-door (Betty) while others are into those impossible-to-please bitches (Veronica), so I'm sure there are other options. Can anyone tell me what the draw is for Archie?

Anyway. More from All-Star Comics #4:

Well, I'm used to taking direction from God Himself, but I suppose I'll serve as the U.S. Government's lap dog since they asked so nicely. After all, God endorses everything the U.S. Government does. Except gay marriage.

Share a totally nerd moment with me. Did you know the Spectre was called "The Dark Knight" over 40 years before Batman was?

Nice battle cry there, Mr. Angel-of-God's-Wrath: And awaaaaay I go!

Seriously, WTF?

It gets worse:

Am I being punked here? Did the Spectre just smile and call someone "Pal"? What's next, eating Beef Jerky and drinking Bud Light?

Oooooooooo..... the Spectre can turn back time? I mean, that makes more sense than Superman doing it in the Superman II movie by spinning the Earth in an opposite rotation (don't get me started), but he's been pretty quiet about that particular power.

Not that I blame him. If I knew someone who could turn back time, I'd be asking for a lot of "do-overs." Mostly to warn myself not to read Flex Mentallo. Yeah, I said it!

See you Monday!


Anonymous said...

In truth, if I could fly, I'd probably be so geeked that I'd be unable to yell anything more coherent than "Wheeeeeeee!" for a long time. Let alone something as clever as "here I go!!"

I dunno about you, but I don't think I'd be particularly reassured by the Spectre's smile and saying "pal"... I mean look at those eyes.

Aaron Carine said...

He calls himself the Dark Knight? He is chalk white,for God's sake! Nothing dark about him.

D.B. Echo said...

Just glancing at the image and reading the text box, I thought Batman had farted while using a trampoline. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

"Can anyone tell me what the draw is for Archie?"

Maybe it is the comic book version of the classic movie 'Little Darlings' except Archie is the only guy cause neither of them are going to screw Jughead.

SallyP said...

I could never figure out the appeal of Archie either, but then I'm a Reggie fan.

Sea-of-Green said...

To heck with trying to figure out what's so appealing about Archie. I'm still trying to figure out why girls went for Andy Hardy!

FoldedSoup said...

chris c touched on it, but really ... have you seen the people of Riverdale?

Tracer Bullet said...

Archie, as I understand it, is hung like a mastodon.

Anonymous said...

Little secret it was Superman 1 that he turned back time. Superman 2 was with General Zod and Supes became human, just so you know.

Frothy said...

Why Archie? Well, he had a waffle in his hair, good for night-time snacking.

Hornacek said...

"Little secret it was Superman 1 that he turned back time. Superman 2 was with General Zod and Supes became human, just so you know."

I assume he is referring to the Donner cut of Superman II where the ending was intended to be Superman turning back time. But when Donner was removed from the film they added that ending to the first film (since both films were made at the same time).