Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Obnoxious Wednesday!

Nice try, DC.

You remember in the 90's, when they kept trying to convince us Tea Leoni was this incredibly sexy and hilarious lady? I mean, they tried sitcom after sitcom, re-tooling sitcoms, movies, etc., and they just couldn't trick us into thinking she had star quality (because she didn't). The same goes with Starman here.

Look at him. He's got the Big Two elevating him, letting you know that even they submit to his sheer awesomeness. He's so popular, poor Hawkman can't even find a place to land. That's how awesome this guy was supposed to be.

Boy, did he suck. Of course, with that kind of build-up, I was rooting for it to fail. Beloved says I tend to do that when I feel like Madison Avenue is trying to cram something down my throat.

Whatever. Kill him, Spectre! Unleash the Holy Judgment upon the infidel, banish him into the Hall of Shame where he belongs, and make way for Jack Knight!

I've cut Allergy a lot of slack, but this is ridiculous. Are there no mirrors in Allergy's house? It seems to me like Allergy might want to make any friend he can at that age, because by the time he hits high school, guys like Bob are going to be sticking his cowlicked, short-pants-and-oversized-bowtie-wearing, bucktoothed head in a flushing toilet.

Yeah, Ollie, what makes that golden shaft of yours stay in place? Or should I ask Dinah?

Eh, we all know the answer - insert your favorite Viagra joke in the comments!


FoldedSoup said...

Check out Power Girl. Doesn't her face say it all?

That's about the level of excitement I went through, too.

SallyP said...

Boy, that is one craptacular costume for Starman.

What kind of parents would name their own child Allergy?

Please do not mock Ollie's golden shaft. You're all just jealous.

Sleestak said...


Sea-of-Green said...

Ah-ha, so THIS is where Soup got the initial materials for his Green Arrow/Speedy gag! OMG, I am in awe! Great site! I'll have to start checking this place out daily, too! :-)

-- Sea

Jeremy Rizza said...

Starman = Tea Leoni = BRILLIANT!

What a sad spectacle that promo poster is! "See, folks? Even the crappy Alan Kupperberg version of the Doom Patrol thinks Starman is keen!" Not quite a ringing endorsement, there...

Allergy is twenty years and a murder rap away from becoming a Batman villain.

De said...

I remember this version of Starman primarily for his fighting villains that even Barry Allen would leave off his resume. Colonel Computron? Yeesh.