Meet a Bit-O-Honey!

I know I'm way behind, but I finally got around to reading All-Star Batman and Robin.  In a nutshell, it's tied for "worst Batman story ever" along with the "Death of the Family" crossover.

So, let's cleanse my palate with Master Comics #67:

Is this an authentic representation of armor?  Because if so, I think it'd be easy to slip around behind the guy and sever his Achilles tendon.  I mean, not to be too graphic or anything, but it looks like his weakness is all yellow and eye-catching and whatnot.

Anyway, like most comics, Master Comics struggled to find it's place in a post-WWII world:

But apparently, the folks at Master Comics weren't convinced we finished the job:

This is news to me.  Any history buffs out there want to bring us up to speed?

Wow.  Harsh.  Someone tell me if this criticism is warranted.  I suppose it could have been warranted at the time and then rendered moot by subsequent efforts, but I really don't know.  Hey, I write a comic blog.  You people are supposed to educate me.

Now here's something disturbing:

Where shall we begin?  I find the image disturbing for a little girl to offer something called a Bit-o-Honey to a boy pretending to be an authority figure.  And hey, kids!  Send off for a free course in numerology!  Learn all about the divine, mystical connotations of the number of letters in your name!  Yay!

Check out another kid with a bike name:

Wow... Merilee is pretty hardcore about keeping bike owners separate from non-bike owners.

I mean, it works out for Betty, I suppose:

Yes, Betty, you have been tentatively admitted to a group of girls who had no interest in you until you had a new bike.

See you soon!

The Return of.... Eh, I'm not Spoiling It

Time to check out Master Comics #66!  Hey, I think we're about halfway through Master Comics, so I need to figure out what we're going to do next!

Meanwhile, here's issue #66:

CMJ looks a little lost there.  Not that I don't understand it, considering one sand dune looks like the next.  Well, at least I would imagine they all look similar.  It's not like I've spent a lot of time in the desert.  I'm not much of a traveler.

Hey, Germany fell!  They never really mentioned it before, but here's my clue:

And take a look at this stuff:

I Googled that "magic folder" but didn't find anything.  I'd like to see it, but there it is.

Meanwhile, this ad got me curious:

This isn't my main question, but doesn't R.C. seem like he's really happy about the theater fire?  Are we sure he didn't start it?

I know you're waiting for me to put the video up for "We Didn't Start the Fire," but that ain't happening.

Anyway...

Okay, based on Quickie's obsession, are we 100% sure he didn't have some sort of substance abuse problem and he was using Royal Crown Cola as a way of coping?

Anyway... look who's back:

I know, right?  I never thought we'd see this guy again, but there he is.

That's probably a lot more profitable than his previous schtick.  

You look like an all right guy.  I don't judge a man based on helmets he wears under his hat.

But Dr. Carver isn't quite as obtuse...

But don't worry... Bulletgirl is out there!  Thusly:

Yeah.  That happened.

And since Bulletgirl tested me, here's her stellar performance from the previous issue: 

Ooooookay.

Let's check out an ad!

Wow... that is one of the most hideous things I've ever seen.  Whatever became of Janne of Hollywood?  Google isn't telling me anything.  That's twice, Google.

See you soon!

"Stop Teasing Me for a Bicycle," and other Things I've Never Said. At Least, That's what I'll Say in Court.

So, I'm hearing decent buzz about Wonder Woman, and I'm glad.  I don't understand people who are rooting for a movie to be a bomb.  Anyone who doesn't want a movie about comics to be good isn't really a fan.

Let's take a brief look at Master Comics #64:

Oy.  You have to give it to CMJ for trying to put Radar over, but I don't exactly see him and say, "This character needs a statue," know what I mean?

Anyway, here he is in action:

The mind-reading he has down.  Keeping his own mouth shut rather than blurting out his strategy to his opponent, not so much.

Here's something that caught my eye:+

You know, if Bulletgirl is willing to shoot a criminal, why doesn't she carry a gun?  You know, just as a safety net for one of the many times she's defeated in combat?

I've posted this ad for two reasons:

1) Because I can't believe this is actually generating any sales that warrant continued ads and

2) because I wanted to give you proof that if I ever make reference to "Mary's secret visit to Santa" that I'm not talking about anything dirty.

Speaking of things that sound dirty but aren't:

That's... an interesting use of the word "teasing," and one that could probably get you a visit from the local authorities if you repeated it.

Here's an expression I didn't know was a thing:

Well, by ginger, if you name your kid "Speedy Wheeler," you're being kind of a jerk by not getting him a bicycle from the moment he's no longer sleeping in a crib or a dresser drawer or whatever people used back then.

Here's an odd premium:

I tried to find this online because I want to know what celebrities posed for it, but no luck.  I also checked out the address on Google Maps, and I can't tell what that building was.  Take a look at it and see if you agree that it looks like someone might have been running this out of their apartment.

See you soon!

Protected from Bullets, but Not from Blows

Whew, it's been a rough week back!  Let's just take a look at some random stuff I noticed while going through Master Comics!

His name in the rest of the story is "Bulletthug," but I think "Bullethug" is much more interesting.  It's kind of like when Jennifer Grey got that nose job... don't be afraid to be unique, folks.

Let's check in on Radar, master of disguise!

Yeah!  Master of disguise!

What's up with CMJ? 

This is something that doesn't happen nearly as often as it should.

Good golly, Jim!  Have you never heard of marijuana?  Or any of the bajillion of other sedatives out there?  If we're looking to put people in chemical straightjackets, there's no shortage of options out there.  I realize there's only so much you had going on in the police laboratory back in the day, but talk about reinventing the wheel.

Soooooo... you are impervious to harm from bullets, but completely vulnerable to an old man smacking you with a chair.

COMICS!

Did you give one to Mastro Arterio?  And why are you so damned attractive?

So, who is this guy?  Well, he had a career in movie "serials" (in fact, he was in the last ones produced by Universal Pictures and Columbia Pictures) that he parlayed into a tv career when serials were no longer a thing.  All told, he had a career that lasted over 25 years with over 200 appearances.  He even married Marilyn Manson (no, not that one).  He died in 1964 at the age of 58.  And apparently, he loved him some RC Cola!

See you soon! 

Admin Note!

Hello, my lovelies!  Just a quick note to let you know that I will be on staycation next week (presuming work cooperates), so I'm taking a break.  I image I'll have some new posts on the 22nd or soon thereafter (although I've been struggling for getting material out of Master Comics... still, we're halfway through so I'll at least read 'em and see how everything turns out).  Stay safe and I'll see you soon!

-adam

SKWA-WA-WHOOM!

Contributor Robert Gillis reminded me that we haven't had new entries for CMNS Sound Effect Theatre (tm!) in a while, so here's a couple:

It's rather impressive that Brainiac was able to steal an entire city with naught but a "poof!"  I make more noise than that getting out of bed every morning.

But here's the one for the ages. 

SKWA-WA-WHOOM!

And just so you don't feel cheated out of your daily dose of Radar, the International Policeman, here he is showing us more of his suave ways with the ladies:

I think that's close enough to a sound effect, don't you?

This has been another installment of CMNS Sound Effect Theatre! (tm!)

Thanks again, Robert!

See you soon! 

When You're Up against Hard Guys, You Have to Talk Cold Turkey.

Keepin' on with Master Comics #55!

Yeah, let's just get Radar out of the way:

Um... Pep, I don't think that date was going anywhere after your little comment.  Women don't like being told they eat a lot.

Anyway, something boring happens and then:

I have no idea what Radar meant by saying that, but I felt I should preserve it for the ages just in case it's some kind of code that we later learn gives us the location of an alien spacecraft or something.

Let's check in with Bulletgirl!

Hey!  Nice one!  Maybe she's getting better at hand to ...

Whoops!  Never mind!

Finally, let's watch CMJ fight Sivana's rubber creature!

Hmmmm... nothing to make fun of so far.  I wonder if...

Oh... spoke too soon.

Considering CMJ was a relatively serious title, that little bit of Saturday-morning cartoon slapstick is really out of place.  But it happened, so there you go.

Hey! Another interesting PSA!

Wow!  Growing milkweed for the war effort!  It's amazing the stuff we find, isn't it?

See you soon!