The Stunning Origin of Pierpont Peasly!

The Bulletman story was a yawn, but CMJ rarely disappoints!  Let's finish our look at Master Comics #53!

You know, Freddy, if you have so much time on your hands that you can spend the day on some guy's problem child, you might want to remember that WWII is still going on.

Right, CMJ?  Hmff, indeed!

Anyway, I guess babysitting is a whole lot more interesting to comic book readers of the 1940s than war, so...

You know, the kid might not be so cheesed off at the world if you didn't make him dress that way.  And I don't think that haircut lands him any points with the neighborhood kids, either.

That tickles!

Hey... I didn't tell you stop.

Really?  Rather than spending your time thwarting the Axis or rescuing people whose lives are in danger, you're going to hang out with a spoiled hellion out of spite?  

But don't worry, gang!  Rather than see CMJ tear into battleships, throw around tanks or fight enemy aircraft, you get great action sequences like:

Yeah!

What is with CMJ?  Seriously, why has this gone from being a "Hmff"-worthy waste of time to something worth dying for?

That's right, Home Alone.  Comics did it first.

Hmmmm... is it just me, or does it seem like he's about to give this kid a beating?

I always wonder why that sort of thing works on a character who can fly.

Anyway...

And I hate to keep coming back to this, CMJ... but WWII is still going on.

Why, CMJ?  Why wouldn't you ever be able to face yourself again?  Unburden yourself so we can get back to beating up Nazis.

So, this kid got under CMJ's skin so much that CMJ decided to just chuck the whole "secret ID" thing.

So, to review:

A)  CMJ changes to Freddy right in front of the kid.

B)  Freddy (who is a separate person) agrees that fighting this kid is a good idea.

C)  The kid, who is a "genius," does not connect the dots and fails to realize that CMJ and Freddy are one and the same.

At this point, the writers must have realized how ridiculous a corner they had painted themselves in and brought in a gangster:

And, at this point, I think we've all given up.

What kind of inventions does CMJ need?  I admit I'm now going to be rather disappointed if they don't follow through on this.

And here's a PSA from Captain Marvel, who seems to be the only one who remembers WWII is still going on.

Victory gardens were a pretty awesome idea.  But seriously... the Axis can have any beets I grow.  I tried bottled beet juice once.  Two words as to the flavor: Liquid dirt.

See you soon!

The Best "Out of Context Dialogue" Ever? Plus, Another Awesome Origin!

Two days in a row! Are we back on track?  Is it a sign of things to come?  Heck if I know!  I do love posting, but I get so dang busy these days.  Oh, well... let's start enjoying Master Comics #53!

Man, they just aren't going to call it quits on Radar, are they?  Poor CMJ... he's clearly the star of the book but there he is, standing behind Radar to try and get him a little attention.  CMJ... always willing to take one for the team.

I don't say much about Radar stories (although I read them) because not much happens.  For example, here was the big reveal in this issue's story:

Wow... thank goodness Nazis working undercover can't resist the urge to return the salute.  That's like how undercover cops have to tell you that they're cops if you ask them.

DISCLAIMER: You know that last part was a joke, right?  Totally was.

Anyway, they may be trying to make Radar more interesting by expanding "the Organization."

Okay, (A) The fact that he refers to himself as "Radar, the International Policeman" connotes a lot of personal insecurity that I imagine the lady finds very unattractive.  Don't overplay your hand, fellas!

And, (B) Radar can read minds?  I had completely forgotten he had any power at all, other than his powers of super-chauvinism:

Enough of him.  On to Nyoka, the Jungle Girl!  I'm not sure why she's called "the Jungle Girl" when she's clearly glamping her way through her jungle travels.  Maybe that's just how she markets herself.

I appear to be on a tangent.  Let's break it with some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!): 

Okay, that just didn't make sense.  We need something suggestively filthy:

Ah!  There we go!  This has been Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

And now, let's have a Random Slap! (tm!)

And another:

Whoops!  False start!  She swerved on me.

I've talked about Mary Marvel's unremarkable dress before, but we never saw the awesome origin!

We're all about keeping a complete comics history here at CMNS.  You're welcome!

Whew!  And we haven't even reached the CMJ or Bulletman stories yet!  This issue was a gold mine of.... well, it really hasn't been too much so far, but the "slimy thing" dialogue alone was worth the price of admission wasn't it?

Do good things, my darlings!

In Which Captain Marvel Junior is... well, it just ain't right

The blog that will not die returns with a look at Master Comics #52!

Oh, eeesh.  They're still pushing Radar.  This needs to stop.

But note that they're promoting war bonds, because that's relevant later.  Kind of.  Eh, don't worry about it.  I'll remind you.

First, check out Bulletman!

You know, I like to think that if someone heard me pounding from the inside of a bank vault, they'd put 2 and 2 together and not just leave me in there if I didn't send them a message in Morse Code.  Maybe people hung out in bank vaults back in the day, but seriously... if you hear me pounding from inside a bank vault, whether it sounds like Morse Code or the drum solo from "Wipeout,".... please just open the door.

On to CMJ, where things take a very strange turn:

Hmmmmm.... "Martin Mayhem" is only about 50% intimidating, if you know what I mean.  Anyway, we all know that the Marvel Family's powers (lightning bolt emblem notwithstanding) come from magic, not electricity.  So, Martin is barking up the wrong tree here.

Or so I thought.

Well, you could just knock the walls over.  I've seen you throw tanks around like they're lawn darts.  I really don't see the issue.

Okay, that was a pretty good burn from Martin Mayhem.  I'll give him that.

Seriously... knock the walls over.  Why do heroes forget their power set on a regular basis?

Anyway, like I said, CMJ's powers come from magic, so anything electricity based will have no effect on...

Wait... what?

Ok, first some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!):

That was Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

But back to business... you mean to tell me that "draining electricity" stole CMJ's powers?

Okay... HOW????

Someone tell me how this happened.  I cannot accept this!

Anyway, they fight... and it shouldn't be much of a fight because "Martin Mayhem" turned "Captain Monster" shouldn't have any powers!!  YEESH!

And then... well this part makes sense if the earlier stuff did:

And then CMJ drags his now-powerless opponent back to Earth so he can punch him...

... which I would normally say is overdoing it, but Captain Monster made my head hurt, so anything goes.

It's very accommodating of the authorities to imprison super-villains in their costumes.  It happens so often, I'm usually surprised when they don't.

Why they bother with guys like Captain Monster when guys like Captain Nazi are still relevant (remember the war bonds?), I have no idea.  It's like putting the Joker on hiatus so Batman can fight villains like the Mime.

Hey!  Check it out!

Oooooh!  Want!

I took a look at the address on Zillow.  It's actually a house, and someone's looking to get almost 4 million bucks for it. 

Finally, this was new:

Yeah, we've seen "Mac" get slapped around the beach more times than we can count, but we've never seen Jack work out so he can beat up a guy whose assertive dancing style clearly masks insecurities about his fashion sense.

See you soon, my lovelies!  Never count us out!