In Which Superman Gets Lazy, But We Can Blame the "Weed"

Superman #247 was a classic tale, but that won't stop me.  Time for another edition of Well.... That's That. (tm!):

Well.... That's That. (tm!)

Hey!  It's time for some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

No one suspected a thing until Clark became a fan of reggae music.

See you tomorrow!

Superman vs.... THE GIANT CLAM!

I've noticed that the Superman comic book tends to use the interruption of a reprint issue or an imaginary story as a means of abandoning ship on plot ideas that didn't work out.  In this case, we see a reprint issue and then it's as if the whole "New Adventures" never happened.  More particularly, we don't see anything from the notion that he reduced his powers.

That being said, let's check out the high points of Superman #246:

First, I didn't realize Superman had any problems with harming animals.  I mean, it was he and Supergirl's conduct that brought about the Unnecessary Animal Abuse (tm!) meme that we use around here.

But okay.  Superman is freakin' Morrissey when it comes the welfare of all creatures great and small.

Um... you probably could have just forced it's mouth open rather than burn the thing.  I mean, when I'm playing fetch with my poodle and he doesn't release the ball, I don't come at him with a welding torch.

Okay, you do realize that eating steamed clams involves their death, right?  What's all this "I can't kill a clam" nonsense?  And does Superman have to eat?  I think it's pretty well established that he doesn't.  So, any meat he eats is unnecessary and... well, I don't think PETA is going to contact Mr. "Principles" any time soon.

Hey, did they use a photo in the background?

I'm not 100% sure, but it sure looks like they did.  I always find that sort of thing kinda cool.  If it is a photo, does anyone have any idea where we are?  I'm guessing New York City, but I've never been.

Hey!  It's time for some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!)

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Finally, we have a gag from "Tales of Krypton," one of my least favorite back-up features ever

On Krypton, eharmony is much more hardcore.

See you tomorrow!

In Which Superman the Piffle-Diffle Enters the Computer Age

Issues like Superman #244 are just so dang quaint.  Here we are introduced to.... the computer!

Apparently, you just type in your question, and it'll give you an answer about anything:

Although I can't vouch for the accuracy, because I'm pretty sure the purple haze is this:

Anyway, computers came in one size and were sentient:

Man, in the early versions, Siri's personality was dang complicated.

So, we have something that is sentient that spawned an offspring who really means to do no harm.  What do we do?  Well, if we're Superman, we kill everything:

Way harsh, Superman.  And frankly, I'm not sure you have much of a career in IT.

One last look into the future before we go?  Sure!

He is something of a piffle-diffle.

See you tomorrow!

The End of the Sandy Superman Saga

Superman #242 had this cover, which promised big stuff:

And it is an awesome cover, if not rather misleading on many levels.  First, that's Superman fighting the sand Superman thingie, but I don't see a grain of sand on either of 'em.

But the first half of the issue deals with a statue possessed by a creature from another dimension, because this is what Superman comics had come to:

Denny O'Neill quoted many different books, so the Bible quote didn't really catch my attention.  At first.

I was distracted by Useless Silver Age Wonder Woman:

When you don't look more formidable than Jimmy Olsen, you have lost some street cred.

Yeah.  That was the Silver Age Wonder Woman.  These weren't exactly her glory days.

Superman finally confronts the sand Superman because... well, we can only show Wonder Woman getting smacked around by a statue possessed by a creature from another dimension for so long:

That's a valid point.  Over the years, any time Superman ran into someone whose power came even close to his they ended up dying, sent to another planet/dimension, received amnesia, or went on tour with REO Speedwagon.  It really didn't matter.  If you had powers that might put you in the ballpark with Superman, you had best not sign a long-term apartment lease in Metropolis.

Anyway, the two trade a few punches and realize that isn't getting them anywhere, so Superman decides to burrow deep under the Earth's crust:

And, since it was the 1970's, there were all kinds of natural disasters that ended life on the planet:

See?  That's the second Biblical reference in a single 20-something page story.  Was Denny O'Neill writing this story during Sunday School or something?

The ANGST!  The ANGST!

Of course, it was all just an illusion because... well, once you've written yourself into that corner, it either has to be an illusion or a dream.  If not, someone is going back in time.  You can take that to the bank, my friend.:

I first encountered Quarrmer in the Superman vs. Shazam! Collector's Edition.  I won't spoil that story for you, but Superman totally cheats.

And then this happens:

So, Superman's power level supposedly goes down.  I'm not sure how long that's gonna last, but if it's anything like other DC titles back in the day where they gave everyone a power lobotomy, it won't exactly make for great reading.  But you'll ride it out with me, because I must share my pain!  YOU SHALL SHARE MY PAIN!

See you Monday!

The Superman and Sandy Superman Saga

I have to admit, I was tempted to watch last Monday night's Supergirl episode because it had a live-action version of the Red Tornado.  Anyone see it?

Moving along to more of the "Amazing NEW Adventures of..."

Bleh.  Next issue!

Superman fighting giant ants, as seen here in issue #237, has been the highlight of the new direction so far.  Then again, anyone fighting giant ants is the highlight of pretty much anything.  Next issue!

Okay, that cover pretty much tells us all we need to know.  Ever since the "NEW!" adventures began, Superman has been dealing with a doppelganger made of sand who takes his powers.  I guess this was to compensate for the removal of Kryptonite from the scenario.  Surprisingly, a Superman made of sand should be awesome in a terrible way, and yet it isn't.

So, Superman is losing powers (again) and this time there's a sand Superman popping up here and there.  That's really all you need to know.

Then this happens:

Superman finally loses his powers entirely.  This is something that seemed to be happening to DC Comics back in the day - Wonder Woman and the Teen Titans were also taken out of costumes and were pretty much powered down.  DC Comics: Where We Know You'd Much Rather Read about People with No Exceptional Abilities Whatsoever.

Anyway, at least they decided that wouldn't fly with the big red "S".

I'm not sure who that guy was, but he had something to do with the powerless Wonder Woman era.  But he knows arcane arts.... because all Asians do, right?

Anyway, Superman gets his powers back and "starts" overdoing things

I say "starts" overdoing things because it seems to me that, historically speaking, Superman kind of always overdid things, using more power than necessary seemingly for no other reason than to impress himself.  It's just that people started calling him out on it.

Anyway, the reason for his excessive power use and arrogant attitude had something to do with the sand Superman.  Here's his origin:

Yeah.  That happened.

And then:

Yes, this is Wonder Woman.  She wore all white, either because someone decided that any color would hover dangerously close to being interesting or she had a veil in her pocket that she could throw on in a pinch just in case she received an impromptu marriage proposal.  And, as is often the case, Superman is actually a more interesting character when he's just coming right out and being a jerk.

And then there's more on the sand Superman situation and then:

Hmmmmm... I think we went into a reprinted story there.  I can't force myself to pick up the comic again, so we'll take it either way.

See you tomorrow!