With Jason Todd... as the Beaver!

So, you non-comic nerdlingers may think that I was overselling what a disaster the introduction of Jason Todd was.  Challenge accepted.

In 1985, the DC Universe was basically re-booted again with a year-long maxi-series called Crisis on Infinite Earths.  This gave writers a chance to tweak characters in a new direction and gave them license to alter what wasn't working.  It was also hoped that this would be a good chance for new readers to jump on board from a new beginning.  These days, the big publishers just go full-blast on that idea and start new volumes of titles as their way of saying, "You don't have to know anything about the past 40-70 years of character backstory!  Please pay $3.99 for a comic book!"

So, the Jason Todd you saw yesterday was very briefly removed from the Batman universe.  And by "very briefly," I mean for the first few pages of Batman #408.  In that story, Dick Grayson was still Robin, Batman fired Dick when he was wounded in combat by the Joker (but gave him his blessings to still be a costumed hero... yeah, I didn't get the logic either), went off on his own...

and then this happened....

Yeah.  That's Batman laughing.  Welcome to the 80's, kids.

Yup.  That's Jason Todd now, impressing Batman with his larceny skills. Just go with it.

And take a moment to chuckle at the lofty ambition of writer Denny O'Neil from the letters page:

Yeah.  Jason Todd if firmly in the Batman mythos as the Robin, much like New Coke replaced Classic Coke.  Google that reference if you're less than 30 years old.

Anyhoo, let's begin watching this idea implode, shall we?  Here's his re-introduction as Robin from Batman #410.

You are waaaaaay overselling it, Bruce.

Here's the "tougher" Robin, post first-mission:

This is the new, tougher Robin?  He's more of suck-up than Dick Grayson was, and I'm including the Burt Ward version from the Batman TV series in 1966.  But keep in mind what a Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver clone this kid is as we go through future issues.

And no, we're not giving up on Superman.  I just came upon this run of Batman and I can't turn away from this train wreck.

See you tomorrow!

New Meme Time! Watch in Horror with Me!

Let's take a brief break from Superman to introduce a little segment we should call:

If I Could Turn Back Time (tm!)

And we all know there's no way I'm not going to set it up with this, so let's get it out of the way now:

There we go.

So, we're going to use this meme whenever I come across a moment in comics history where I, in my admittedly subjective yet it's my blog so my vote is the only one that really counts way, would totally intervene and change the course of comics for the better.

I give you Batman #368:

Yes.  That is Jason Todd.

And here is the moment things go horribly wrong for the beloved character of Robin:

YAY!  Short pants!  The fashions for boys 40 years ago are just as cool today!

For the next 40 issues, Jason Todd would basically be Robin 1.5 with no personality of his own, but then things actually get worse after the Crisis on Infinite Earths, where he became so obnoxious that people paid cash money to have him killed off within two years. Jason Todd would return 15 years later (in 2003) for reasons I still don't understand.

So, at this critical moment in comics history, I can only say

.... If I Could Turn Back Time (tm!)

See you tomorrow!

Kodiak Bears, Super Sneezes, and I Reveal I Secretly Wish Harm Upon Jimmy Olsen for No Reason

Superman #218 had some awesome moments:

And then there was the time that Superman sneezed an entire solar system into oblivion:

And finally...

I like Mxyzptlk.  I just do.  Yeah, Jimmy Olsen's probably going to suffocate.  It sure sucks to be him.

Good stuff.  See you tomorrow!

Super-Girl isn't the First Supergirl if You Spell it Super-Girl. Duh.

Annnnnd..... it's another issue of reprints from Superman #217.

Did you know that Brainiac had a cute sidekick?  You won't see him any stories post Crisis on Infinite Earths in 1985, but he was actually the best thing about your average Brainiac story back in the day.

Speaking of characters you don't see any more:

What do you mean "always," Lois?  Because I've never seen this guy before. 

I admit I wouldn't have seen that particular prank coming.  How do you get a box of chocolates to do that?  Is there a nozzle in each individual chocolate?

Speaking of things you don't see coming....

To be fair, that isn't really Clark.  Not to spoil anything, but I know you're going to ask me in the comments, so... no, that isn't really Clark.

And since we never see Joe again, I can only presume he died from head trauma.  That took a dark turn.

And then there's Lois:

I'm not sure you have to parachute down into the middle of a flood to do a story about it.  Granted, my career in journalism was quite short, but I would think that just flying over the flood and reporting on it would be due diligence.  Then again, my career in journalism was very short-lived.

I don't know that it's bad luck when your parachute opens.  At least, I don't think that would hold up in court when Lois Lane's estate sues the makers of the parachute.

What do you want from your relationship with Superman, Lois?  I don't think he can crack your subtle feminine wiles.

Yeah, there was a Super-Girl.  Not to be confused with Supergirl.  But she knew Superman's secret identity, so you know where this is going:

Yup.

Oh, Lois... you're such a jerk.

Yes, take comfort in the fact that the dead woman was replaced by another woman.  That's totally okay in the Superman universe.

You know what we haven't seen in a looooong time? 

Excessively Impossibly Expository Monlogue! (tm!)

I know... we have so many memes at CMNS that some seem to disappear.  But there it was!  Yay!

See you tomorrow!

That Time Superman Went to the 'Nam.

Okay, first... check out this awesome Joe Kubert cover:

Amazing.

Now before we get into this issue, please understand that I am not trying to be political or make any snarky comments about the Vietnam War or those who were affected by it.  I'm only commenting on the story.  Fair enough?

Obviously, we have an issue that was very topical back in 1969:

Fair enough.  It never made a whole lot of sense as to why Superman didn't go over to Europe and end WWII until they retconned an explanation in the pages of All-Star Squadron.  The previous explanation was that he didn't properly read the eye-chart because his X-Ray vision had inadvertently caused him to read the chart in the next room.  

Decades later, by the way, Roy Thomas came up with the notion that all the heavy-hitters in the DC Universe back in the day were prevented from entering the fray because Adolph Hitler had stolen the Spear of Destiny and it had magical powers that would put Superman and Co. under his thrall.  So, only the ones who didn't have the power to shatter a diamond planet with a swat of their hands were actually in the European Theater at the time.

More than you wanted to know?  Sorry.

Anyhoo, this was Clark's solution: 

But if you go as a soldier, I don't think you get to just come back when it's convenient.  Probably not a great idea, Clark!

Anyway, he passes the physical and indeed gets a commission as a medic.  And as you can tell by the cover, suddenly Superman's "I took a vow not to kill ever" gets pretty relaxed.

For example, Clark slips away and does this to help out his unit:

That's just property damage, but when you disable the weaponry of one side and not the other, you kinda do have a hand in what follows, and I'm pretty sure it's not going to end without casualties.  I appreciate that he "didn't like killing," but I think he's splitting hairs here.

But since he's Superman, he's limited to doing things that appear at first glance to do nothing more than reduce the fighting:

After all, how can you argue with a guy who simply destroys cannons so they aren't used to bomb an orphanage?

Anyway, Lois went along as well and gets a fever.  Superman is about to take her to a hospital, but Lois (being Lois) has a request:

Okay, ew.  Lois has a fever.  I know he's invulnerable, but still.

And then this happens:

Why are they singing that particular ditty?  I have no idea, and I read the entire comic.

We'll see how long Superman's tour of duty is when I read the next issue.

See you Monday!

In Which Lois Lane Gets Disintegrated and We All Enjoy a Guilty Chuckle

You're not going to believe me, but Superman #215 is yet another imaginary story.  I honestly don't know how readers in the Silver Age kept all this straight.

Then again, they didn't have industry-wide crossover stories for three issues of every year like they do now, so I guess it all comes out in the wash.

But I digress.  Here is one of the most unintentionally hilarious murder scenes ever:

Is it the guy just appearing in the open window (I wonder if he had to raise the blinds first?)?  Is it that Superman is lounging around in his costume?  Is it that he's bothering to read a newspaper when he can just use his super-vision and super-hearing to find out anything that's going on?  Is it the, "Goodbye, Superman, my darling"?  I can't choose!  I won't!

Then things get really weird:

Oh, I'm sorry.  "Robot Mother" wasn't the really weird part.  This is:

And, just in case we were feeling short-changed, here's some Unnecessary Animal Abuse! (tm!)

When "Robot Lois" couldn't cut the mustard for some reason, Superman takes things even further:

Hmmm... I'm thinking that story probably shouldn't ever happen.  There's something completely creepy about farming a new version of your wife.  But it's the Silver Age, so anything goes!  Yeah!

See you tomorrow!