In Which Bizarro Superman Fights... Well, I'm Not Going to Spoil It. IT'S AWESOME!

Superman #202 was nothing more than reprints of Bizarro stories from Adventure Comics gone by.

In other words, Superman #202 was awesome.

I loves me some Bizarro.  I can't make many comments because these comics aren't supposed to make sense, but I cannot deny their glory.

I love that little melee between the kids that takes place for no particular reason.  Good stuff!

I would swear that happened to me at least once.  I went to public schools.

Hmmmm... I'm not sure if we're still in Bizarro World or if we're at a United States Post Office.  More particularly, one of them in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Yeah.  I don't like my local Post Offices.  They've disappointed me too many times.

Hey!  Could it be??

It is!

BIZARRO FIGHTS TITANO!!!!

Can't... handle... all... the... awesomeness.

Hey!  It's time for a Random Spanking! (tm!)

Psyche!  Nope!  We were Bizzaroed!  AWESOME!

Check out this thing:

Just in case your kids weren't totally into witchcraft after playing with that Ouji Board.

Here's a picture of the thing I swiped:

Happy Birthday, Junior!  The store was out of chemistry sets, so I thought I'd introduce you to the occult!

See you tomorrow!

In Which Superman Just Gives Up and Takes His Own Powers Away

So, I'm reading Superman #201 and you'd think, what with this being the 201st issue, that this would be a start of a whole new era for the title.

You'd think.

Yes, Clark is cutting out the middleman and just putting himself in a situation where he has no powers.

But, to be fair, he first fights a giant forearm:

Okay, that's pretty awesome, but I'd think the creature would take a lot of eye injuries, considering the location and whatnot.

Anyway, Clark leaves Earth because of guilt over this:

Well, to be fair, the guy would have been a goner if he had stuck around because we all know that no one learns Superman's secret and lives.  The guy might not have been crushed a boulder, but he certainly would have fallen off something.  Something tall.

This was mildly interesting.  And by "mildly interesting," I mean "complete and utter shenanigans:"

So, Superman has lost his "super brain," but he's still able to create a fully functioning robot that borders on sentience.  Hmmph.

But the rest of the story is pretty consistent with what we expect to see in what is all-too-common plot device in Superman Comics:

Kromn would probably just say, "You mean I beat up Superman who didn't have his powers.  Wow, that puts me at a physical prowess level of Lex Luthor."

Finally:

You know, I did miss that issue and I've got to say that there have been times things didn't go just swimmingly for me.  I'm starting to see the connection.

See you tomorrow!

Superman: A Publication of the Lifetime Movie Network

Okay, Clark was doing some undercover thing as actor Claude Keith, and Lyrica knows this.  That's all the set-up you need, I assure you.

Wow... what a shrew.

The woman who just laughed in your face because she thought you were "a weak jellyfish" is worth any risk? I'm not saying I always fell for girls who were a good match for me (or even particularly nice people), but I'm starting to think Superman has self-esteem issues.

Or as a ring.  You know... rings and weddings.

I'm sorry, but have you forgotten how that woman just laughed in your face?

Well, once you told her who you really were, her fate was pretty much sealed.  It's more a matter of "how" than "if" at that point.

Wow.  And I added nothing by way of taking things out of context.  That's exactly how that happened.  It happened.  We can try to forget about it... and we'll certainly try... but it happened.

See you Monday!

People Don't Say, "Take That!" Enough Any More...

So, with Superman #194, we have yet another imaginary story.  Actually, it's a continuation of yesterday's imaginary story, so I'm wondering if they're just planning on sneaking in a reboot of the whole Superman saga.

Oh, well.  Let's see how this plays out in another installment of 

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

Well.... Touche!

But don't worry, folks.  Even though he lost his powers, one universal truth remains, even in an imaginary story:

If you find out Superman's secret identity, you're a goner.

Let's check out a double whammy of

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

with a Random Slap! (tm!)

But wait!

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

I know.  I'm worn out keeping up with all the Touches!

Here is one of the greatest lines ever:

If I'm ever in a position where someone tells me they're calling a doctor, I'm going to say, "For what?  To sign the death certificate?"  Because I want to make sure my last words are hilarious.

See you tomorrow!