The Time Luthor Quantifiably Proved He is Tougher than Superman, Part Two.

I find myself with more questions than answers as I perused Superman #167.

First, and foremost....

Why in the world do prisons keep giving Luthor access to labs and workshops where he can get the materials to make these inventions?  It's not like this doesn't happen all the time.  This man will pull a Shawshank using nothing more than gum wrapper and an apple core. 

Ruh-roh.  Check it out:

You can call Sigmund Freud on me all you want.  We all know what that looks like.

This wasn't Brainiac's first appearance, but they certainly went a new direction with his origin:

Okay, first?  If you want him to be a human spy, consider making him some color other than green.  I'm not saying that the galaxy wasn't disproportionately filled with Caucasian-populated planets back in the Silver Age of Comics, but they should have at least gone with a color that humans actually are.  This is like building a.... well, I was going to come up with a metaphor, but this is really the penultimate example: It's like building a synthetic human being with artificial intelligence and making his skin green. 

So, why the change?  I think it was to avoid a lawsuit:

See? They turned the character into an ad for the Berkeley Enterprises product!  It's a clever way to avoid a trademark-infringement lawsuit.

Anyway, this is supposed to be a big secret:

I don't know why it would be such a big secret.  I mean, if you make Brainiac green, he's probably going to be met with a certain amount of suspicion.  People would probably be more receptive to him if they knew he was a living computer, because that's kinda cool.

Random Gas Usage! (tm!)

If he perfected that gas, I'm not sure why Luthor doesn't use it every time he runs across Superman.  I mean, if I were fighting Superman, that would be my first form of attack.

So, what happens when Superman doesn't have the advantage of incredible powers?  He gets his ass kicked by Luthor.  Again:

And he gets beaten up by the computer, too:

Random Ray Usage! (tm!)

Random Ray Usage Again! (tm!)

Just like with Luthor's gas, the coma ray works like a charm.  It actually takes the people of Kandor defeating Brainiac and coercing him into reversing the process to set things right:

So, once again... Why doesn't Brainiac use that coma ray all the time?

Seriously, geniuses.  You have two things that totally work against Superham, neither of which depends on Kryptonite or magic.  But I don't think we ever see either of these devices again.  Either they are terrible at being evil geniuses, or I am surprisingly good at it.

See you tomorrow!

Superman vs. Wonder-Man. Prepare for Disappointment.

Let's finish up the week with a few random Super-musings!

I'd give it to Luthor on that one.  It really doesn't matter what size Superman is if he still has his powers.  That's like saying I deserve your lottery winnings if I hold the door open for you at the convenience store when you buy it.

Next case!

Hey!  Recycled Names! (tm!)

Yup!  Hyphen notwithstanding, there was a Wonder Man who would debut in the October, 1964 ish of The Avengers.  The date of this issue?  February of that same year.  Coincidence?

While we ponder the conspiracy, let's check out some highlights from that issue: 

I'm going to use, "Go scratch yourself," as a way of telling jive turkeys to step off.

That was possibly the single greatest conversation ever.

See you Monday!

Superman vs. a Mob of Monsters... including a Giant Ape! YEAH!

Yet another imaginary story from Superman #166.  Basically, it's gonna be magic, Kryptonite or imaginary.  That's how Superman comics work.

I don't know that Superman is being very honest.  I mean, if you have one kid that can fly and one can't... are you really going to love them both equally?  You can either spend your time with the flying kid or the one with poor grammar who throws tantrums.  This ain't exactly Sophie's Choice.

And that was the theme of the issue, but it turned into a "let the artist draw weird creatures" festival.  Thusly:

Not that I'm complaining.  Funky creatures are generally the most interesting thing in a Superman story and... well, giant apes are awesome.  Always.

Hey!  It's time for some Random Ray Usage! (tm!)

Followed up by a new thing we had to call:

Random Gas Usage! (tm!)

Random Gas Usage (tm!) is normally followed by something along the lines of "Gas! Choke!"  But dogs don't talk.  Unless they're hit with some Random Ray Usage (tm!) that would allow for that.

See you tomorrow!

In Which We Take the Low Road

I've got lots of randomness from Superman #165:

Now, how many times has Krypto saved Superman's behind?  MANY.  Does he really need to address his faithful dog in such a manner?  Is it any wonder I love seeing Superman get smacked around.  Treat your pets kindly, folks.

Here's a qualified Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!)

It's qualified because that it isn't funny to us Yankees, but I guarantee you that every British person who just read that panel found that hilarious.  It's my way of thanking British Culture for The Benny Hill Show.

Here's something that caught my eye:

Correct me if I'm wrong (like that's possible), but is that the first time Superman stated he was vulnerable to magic?  Is that the point where the writers officially said, "Okay, we can't have Kryptonite in every story, so let's come up with something else"?  I'm thinking it might be.  If anyone has anything pre-1963 where Superman actually comes right out and acknowledges the vulnerability, thus making it official, give me a shout in the comments.  I'm thinking we found something here.

You know what I learned in this story?

Superman is much more entertaining as a character when he has a mouse's head.

I love that:  "Marry me and I'll stop humiliating you!"  Because our behavior only improves once someone has committed to a relationship with us, right folks?

Hey!  It's time for Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!) for all of us! 

That's a pretty tall order.  Am I right, fellas?  Does scratching 'em count?  Because that's really the only way I see this happening.

See?  It's a question of timing.  You only get to make someone miserable after they're in the relationship.  That's how relationships work.

Beloved quit reading this blog years ago.  Can you tell?

Oh, one more Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!)

Wow.  We sure took the low road on our Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!) today.  You should probably delete your browser history.

See you tomorrow!

The Time Luthor Quantifiably Proved He is Tougher than Superman

Luthor is a scientist.  How does he prove he's tougher than Superman?  I'm so glad you asked!

I now have a large portrait of the cover of Superman #5 in my office, so I may have to start easing up on Supes.  I just love that cover.

But these are the facts: 

That sounds reasonable.

I don't really follow that logic.  I mean, if you have the powers, that's just how it is.  Superman's ego overrides his noggin.  Often.

Anyway, brace yourself for the awesome:

I was going to end it there... but then it got even better:

Yes... without the powers, Lex Luthor can beat up Superman.  Repeatedly.

See you tomorrow!