Superman Just Finished Something Billy Started

Let's ease back into the swing of things with a Saga in Three Panels (tm!) courtesy of Superman #154!

Okay, that second panel there.... if left on by itself... could be considered quite filthy as Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

I'm just saying.

Yes, kids... if you litter, you will receive enough bikes to open your own dealership.  Let this be a lesson to all of us.

This has been another CMNS Saga in Three Panels! (tm!)

Hope everyone had a great break!  See you tomorrow!

Superman: Legally Recognized as the Greatest Guy in the World

Dear Ones, I'm taking a break next week, so there won't be any new posts.  But we'll get back together on Monday, September 14th for more comic silliness!

Meanwhile, let's take a look at Superman #153, where he beats up an elephant:

Yes, Superman... you could have just picked the elephant up or simply held it in place, seeing as how you can change the course of mighty rivers and all that... but you are wonderful for unnecessarily knocking the poor beast unconscious.  WONDERFUL!

 

Hey, was that an ad for Polaroid?  I think it was!

And now, another episode of Lois Lane... Anti-Environmentalist:

This has been Lois Lane.... Anti-Environmentalist.

This pretty much sums up what annoys me about Superham:

Oh, EEEEEEESH!

See you on September 14th!

Superman vs. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY

It's Superman #151, a "VERY SPECIAL" Superman, because of the socially relevant subject matter:

That's right!  JUVENILE DELINQUENCY!

Those kids and their tomato-throwing hooliganism!

And look at what else they do!

A movie fan magazine???  And hey!  Do I see a pea-shooter?

That's it.  I'm calling the cops.

Hmmmm... well, hold on.  Anyone who gives Superman a hard time can't be all bad.

But Superman will not abide your youthful disrespect!

That's right!  He will banish your sassy behind to the deep reaches of space!

Or maybe...

He'll make you king of a living salad bar!  Or something.

Or.  OR!

Maybe he'll just make deformed...

... and appear in Hollywood movies!  THE HORROR!

Yes.  Terrorizing children into behaving is what it's all about.

See you tomorrow!

Superman Doesn't Want You Girls Fighting Over Him!

Some nonsense from Superman #150, with an episode of

Well.... That's that. (tm!)

Well.... That's that. (tm!)

And some awesomeness from the Bizarro World:

You've got to love the Bizarros:

And hey!  It's time for a CMNS Saga in Three Panels! (tm!)

Starting with a pair of Random Slaps! (tm!)

This has been a CMNS Saga in Three Panels! (tm!)

See you tomorrow!

Superman: The American Way Means Someone Else Pays Your Taxes

It's not that Superman Comics don't have their moments, like here in #148:

... It's just that I enjoy seeing Superman look like a fool more than I like seeing him win.  And I know that's not what anyone was going for, but I just can't help myself.

Like this awesome bit:

What?  Well, what are going to DO about it, Revenue Agent Rupert Brand?

I'm listening!  Go on!

Preach, Rupert Brand!  PREACH!

So, since NO ONE ESCAPES THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE, Superman gets audited in a CMNS Moment.... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

You know it'll be ruined in the end, but for now: Watching Superman get audited is a CMNS Moment.... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

That's hardcore, but hey... don't cross swords with the Internal Revenue Service.

Superman: Ivory Hunter.

Yes.  You see it.  So do I.  That's DC's flagship hero right there, folks.  But what's a bunch of massacred elephants when Superman is running low on cash, right?

Jerk.

What?

For the record, I tried to see about "Code 1426B" in the Internal Revenue Code and I can't find it.  Any tax pros out there want to help me out? 

Again... WHAT?

You never thought of that because it's SHENANIGANS!

There are all kinds of rules to claim a dependent, but let's consider for one stark-raving insane second that everyone in America qualified as Superman's dependent.  This means that no one else gets to claim their dependents because Superman just claimed them all.  That means every taxpayer with a dependent is now on the hook with the I.R.S.  But as long as Superman is happy, to blazes with everyone else, right?

And look at him.  He's totally fine with it.

Egad.  The way people just fall all over themselves for this guy is nauseating.  Yeesh.

See you tomorrow!

What Else Would a Gigantic Ape Eat?

Starting the week off right with a look at Superman #147.

Hmmmm... I don't know that he's got Superman checkmated.  It seems like this problem generally solves itself with a flight of stairs.  Then again, this guy is wearing a helmet.  A little extra pushy-pushy might be in order.

Here's a short story that should become a series:

Titano?  Always awesome because gorillas in comics are always awesome.  Krypto?  Double the awesome factor.

What could make it even better?  This:

Yup.  A giant gorilla fighting dinosaurs.

Awesome!

Could it be any more awesome?  Not without a bunch of gigantic bananas!

And here we go:

Hold it... did Krypto just talk?  Holy jumping heck, the dog just talked!

Too much awesome for one day.

See you tomorrow!

In Which Superman Hits on a Fish Lady while Jimmy Makes a Pass at Lois

Whenever that mermaid shows up, there's almost always blog material.  Such was the case with Superman #139:

Hmmmmm.... I can't imagine the response I would get if I started taking pictures of a married woman to keep in the old "Fortress of Solitude," if you know what I mean.  And I love how he presumes her husband won't mind.  Not that Superman would bother asking the guy.  What's her husband going to do if he does have a problem with it?  Unless he finds some Kryptonite on the ocean floor, I think his objections would be duly noted and ignored.

Is Jimmy macking on Lois?  I think he is.  "Come to my apartment and I'll show you what Superman is doing."  Winkety wink wink wink.  Lois has every cause to be concerned.  That's some Fun with out of Context Dialogue / Artwork (tm!) right there!

Hey!  It's time for a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

This has been a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

Let's jump ahead a couple of issues to Superman #141:

Marry him... be his hostage... it's six of one, half dozen of the other, really.  Beloved will tell you that.  You might as well go with marriage because there are tax breaks.

Hey!  Random Sucker Punch! (tm)!

Land sakes, indeed!

I looked it up, by the way, and "land sakes" was a polite way of saying "for the Lord's sake."  Kind of like "heck" and "gosh."  We learned something today!

And now, another episode of...

Did I put away my marijuana? (tm!)

This has been another episode of...

Did I put away my marijuana? (tm!)

See you Monday!