A Rubber Hose is the Best Way to Get Evidence!

Dear Ones, there won't be a post tomorrow because I'm going to be a responsible adult and be buried in work-related things.  But here's something to think about:

Ah... police brutality.  It's a great source of investigation.

Check out the girl's facial expression at what the sergeant is saying.  I think that about sums it up.

That was Bulletman in his civilian ID, by the way.  That's important because, just a few pages later:

I am outraged that you would torture a man!  I'm only okay with it if you are a police officer trying to gather evidence!

Check out this bit of wartime brilliance:

Try to get shot in the shield or the helmet, because there was nothing left in the Reich's budget to pay for any other combat gear!  Best of luck going to the battlefield in those wrestling tights!

And who is this guy?

Notice he "had Yankee parents."  This way, we can think he's actually Caucasian.  Otherwise, he'd have to wear a sombrero and talk like Speedy Gonzalez.

Bonus!  Here's a fun avatar!

Yeah!

Sorry about missing tomorrow, but I'll see you on Friday!

In Which We Talk About Pimpin'. Yeah!

On those really busy days, I just can't help but love the easy pickin's of Boy Meets Girl Comics.  Let's check out lucky issue #13!

Claire may be unsure because she's just now starting to figure out that Ted seems to be her pimp.  A pimp will tell you he loves you, Claire.  But once he starts having you "spend time" with servicemen, it's time to put the pieces together.

Speaking of pimpin':

The ladies can't resist a guy with a ping pong table in his basement.  Everyone knows that.

And, still speaking of pimpin'... here's an ad for something that'll have any guy pimpin'!

Make sure you keep an eye on that detachable crotch piece, because they don't give you a spare.

See you tomorrow!

In Which Batman's Creative Team Finally Remembers Batman has Actual Foes

Batman #251 heralded the return to greatness for Batman.  A hero is only as good as his enemy, and after years of fighting gangsters, we finally start to see a rebirth of the super-villain.  Have Marvel and DC trademarked the term "super-villain"?  If not, I should get on that.

Anyway, check out this gorgeous cover:

When he was first introduced, the Joker was a homicidal maniac.  Over the years, the character reverted to more of a clown, playing it for laughs and keeping in tune with a more kid-friendly Batman.  This issue marks a merging of the two: The Joker still enjoys his giggles, but is reintroduced by going on a murderous rampage.

It fell apart for me right here:

Yeah, it's kind of getting shoved down our throats at that point, but all in all we have to give credit to Denny O'Neil for bringing the character back to glory.

And it wasn't just the Joker who was revitalized.  Subsequent issues would bring back the Penguin, the Catwoman and the Scarecrow, all handled with an eye towards exploring the respective insanity that made them who and they are.  

Here, we see the return of Two-Face from Batman #258.  The infamous two-headed coin that he flips to decide if he will act in evil or good is still very much a part of his character, but he's more vicious and tormented than ever:

Harvey hates what he has become, and deluded himself into thinking that he could simply pay people to ignore his ugliness... both physical and psychological.  Keep in mind these were comics from 40 years ago.  That's some freakin' brilliant writing there.

But, since I'm Adam, I have to point out something unintentionally funny.

Batman #258 was also the first appearance of Arkham Asylum, which is important because now we're seeing the bad guys institutionalized for their insanity rather than simply jailed.  The introduction of Arkham was a game-changer, and the insanity of Batman's foes has been a focal point of the whole Batman cannon ever since.

Anyway, this happened:

I'm Harry Higby... an actor!  And I just confessed to helping a violent man escape from an institution!  What a lucky break for me!  Should I not have told you all that?  I'm an actor, not a lawyer!  But I'll play one if you want me to!

But one of the best reboots had to be the Riddler.  It had previously been established that he had a mental block that kept him from committing crimes without riddles more than a hundred issues earlier in Batman #179, but in Batman #283, this had become a consuming obsession:

The man became consumed by the Riddle.  Again, freakin' genius.

But just in case we're feeling deprived of silliness, here's a bit from the Hostess ad in the back of that issue:

You know, if your special mummy ray gun won't stop a mummy, I'm not sure why you'd even bother carrying around a special mummy ray gun.  

And what is a "special" mummy ray gun?  As opposed to the common one?

But always carry a box of Twinkies:

Actually, those Twinkies will probably still taste about the same in 2000 years, so don't feel the need to rush through 'em.

See you tomorrow!

Batman Defends Himself Against a Guy's Middle Finger. Seriously.

Okay, I know I shouldn't find this cover funny, but I totally do:

It's the "Oh, no... not again!" that gets me.  I mean, he sounds more exasperated than anything else.  All we need is a cartoon sound effect.

It's funny how things that seem so awesome when we're young just don't have clout with subsequent generations.  Ask anyone under 25 if they think Seinfeld is funny.  I'll give you a clue: That show went off the air 17 years ago.  There are exceptions, of course, but most younger folks just don't see why millions of us were glued to the tv on Thursday nights watching this thing.  And don't even get me started on musicians.

Point is, while I used to see the silliness in Marvel titles back in the 1970's, I kind of thought DC Comics kept their dignity.  But I'm starting to see that really wasn't the case... at least not all the time.

Like this sequence here:

Okay, this is Batman we're talking about here.  Can you imagine Batman getting freaked out about anything?  I mean, even if he does get bothered by something, he's never going to let you know about it.  Know why?  Because he's the dang BATMAN, that's why!

And then, two issues later, there is this:

Yes, the man packs a blade in his middle finger.  Years ago, I made a joke about a villain who may or may not have had a ray shoot out of his middle finger.  Well, it appears someone didn't see the humor because old Colonel Sulphur there (yes, that was the man's name) kept his one-and-only weapon right there.

And that, my friends, is hilarious.

Are we still talking about fighting?  Because I've practiced something every single day since I was twelve, and it's not fighting.

Anyway, see the freakin' Batman fight a guy with a blade sticking out of his middle finger:

Colonel Sulphur had appeared in one issue before this one, and another four after that before fading into pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths oblivion.  But I note that in his last appearances, he still had that blade in his middle finger.  You can see it here if you look closely:

Again, I say... awesome.

See you Monday!

Batman's Behavior Caused a Doorman Shortage in Gotham City Back in the 1970's

I just saw the trailer for Fallout 4, guaranteeing that I will upgrade my console at some point in life.  Granted, it'll probably be a few years, but.... Fallout 4.

Anyway, let's take a gander at this moment in Batman #241 that we can only call

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

Well.... Touche! (tm!)

Let's hop up to the next issue where a scene gave me a double-take:

For non-comic book nerdlingers, this is weird because when Batman goes undercover, he uses the identity of "Matches" Malone.  So, seeing Bats and "Matches" in the same room is like seeing Batman and Bruce Wayne: You know something isn't as it seems.

But it turns out, this is an origin story!  Check it out!:

Fast forward a few pages later:

Yup!  Turns out the "Matches" at the beginning of the story was the real "Matches" Malone, and Bats assumed his identity from that issue onward.  To be fair, it's not like "Matches" was going to use it any longer.

Of course, that leads one to wonder how Batman got rid of the body and kept anyone (including the chef who witnessed the whole thing) from leaking word that the real "Matches" had died, but you can't think that far in comics.  Unless you can't help but notice that stuff, in which case you start a blog.

I thought that was pretty nifty because I had always assumed Batman just made up the whole identity.  Come to think of it, that probably would have been a bit easier...

Oh, well.  Enough armchair quarterbacking for one day!  I'll see you tomorrow!