Lola... La la la la Looooola....

Let's finish up Lightning Comics #3!

And you, Lola, should realize that Danny wears the same suit everywhere he goes and it's the exact color of the one the Raven wears.  We're all falling down on the job here, don't you think?

Hmmm... I don't know that pulling a rabbit out of something is "unusual" in the magic world.  Then again, we've already established that Lola is something of a low-watt bulb.

But one thing about Lola:

She can take a hit.

Hey!  It's time for a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

This has been a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

See you tomorrow!

Keep Your Hands Off That Girls!

Hey!  It's Lighting Comics #3!  In this issue, he's "Lash" Lightning, although everyone calls him "Lighting" because why bother to learn a name if it's just going to change after three issues?

Master Mind will be surprised at my FLAIR!

Not that I wouldn't be all fancy in my flying if I could fly myself.  I mean, if you can fly, why not be all fancy about it?  It don't cost nothin' extra to be fancy in your flyin'.  And you can quote me on that.

Hmmmm... I wasn't really asking who you were.

Okay, (A) She wouldn't have been taken hostage if she'd kept her mouth shut and

(B) Random Sucker Punch! (tm!)

I don't think water will put out an oil fire?  I mean, I'm not a firefighter, so I'm not trying to act like I have some credentials here.  But I've worked in many a commercial kitchen and water on grease fires just spreads the fire around, sooooooo...

And here's an interesting exchange:

I'm sorry... what?  I think Master Mind was distracted by Lightning's incredibly poor grasp of the English language.  If that was deliberate strategy by Lightning, it was awesome.

This is a group that clearly doesn't believe in personal space.  Let's keep a little room for the Holy Spirit, people.

See you tomorrow!

Close Encounters of the Cupcake Kind!

Hey, gang!  I got word that the awesome Comic Book Men is casting for season five, so if you've got something awesome... well, first, consider sending it to me first so I can pull any humor out of it for the rest of us and then.... go to this link if you want to audition.  If you get on the show, make sure you begin every sentence with, "Well, as I read on Comics Make No Sense..."

Meanwhile, contributor Robert Gillis is taking over the content for today, and some greatness he does have!  First, the appearance of a brand new meme we're going to call:

 Thanks for Clearing That Up. (tm!)

I've been really slow in bringing about the first volume of Wonder Woman, mostly because that title has been mined pretty thoroughly by other sites.  But this is indeed worth noting because it is one of the most egregious examples of terrible cover dialogue ever.

First, the caption box is a flimsy and feeble attempt to cash in on the movie, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which was popular for some reason.  I was a child when the film came out and was expecting something a bit more Star Wars-y.  I can't imagine why they thought your average comic book reader back in the day would consider any comparison to that movie as something that would move copies of Wonder Woman off the racks.

And, as Robert pointed out, could Steve Trevor be more expository?  Yeah, we see that you're being kidnapped by a flying saucer.  Frankly, if Wonder Woman couldn't figure that out, she probably isn't going to be much help, anyway.

Thanks for Clearing That Up! (tm!)

Moving on to the Hostess ad!

So, the elevator cable breaks and, rather than deposit the elevator safely at the bottom of the shaft (heh... "shaft"), he decides to shove the thing right through the roof.  I'm sure the building's owner and his insurance company are happy that they don't have a quadruple death situation on their hands, but their gratitude has to be somewhat tempered by the large elevator-shaped hold in the roof.

But it was darn sporting of Superman to provide snacks during a rescue.  You don't see comic book heroes doing that sort of thing these days.

Great stuff, Robert!

See you Monday!

To be fair, You Don't Really *Plan* on Having to Fight an Octopus

And we're back!

I'm hesitant to critique artwork, because I can't even draw stick figures.  But look at the expressions on the faces of Bulletman and Bulletgirl:

Don't they look really freaked out?  Maybe they weren't expecting the explosion.   They just have this, "AAAAAAH!  WE WEREN'T EXPECTING THIS!  KEEP IT TOGETHER!  KEEP IT TOGETHER!"

Anyway, check out Bulletgirl fighting an octopus:

and losing:

Okay, that's just hilarious on so many levels that I don't know where to begin.

In a different story, the villain is a hunchback.  I'm not sure that's politically correct, so we'll say that this is their choice of words, not mine:

But look at who the villain was the prior issue: 

I'm seeing not-so-thinly veiled hostility towards people who don't have perfectly straight spines here.  What's that all about?

Check out this guy:

He's a jolly sort, isn't he?  What's he called:

Yes.  The Black Rat.

I'm not sure why he picked that name, because there is virtually no connotation of the term "rat" that is flattering of which I'm aware.

Don't worry.  He'll be back.  You aren't really dead in comics unless...

Oh.  Nope.  A hand sticking out over the surface of the water means dead and gone.  The end.

See you tomorrow!

Stop Crying! It Spoils Your Complexion!

Dear Ones, I'm afraid there will be one more teensy break next week.  I've got two days of vacay left at work to use by the end of the month or I'll lose 'em, so I'm going to take a staycation and extend the holiday weekend.  So, we'll be back on Thursday, May 28th.  'Salright?

I love Boy Meets Girl Comics.  So rich in love, passion, and things I can make snarky comments about.  Here's more from issue #11!

Rich or poor would never influence my decision as to who I marry...

A woman just said she didn't care which guy had money?  I thought these were based on true stories!  Shenanigans!

And now for a CMNS Moment.... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

AWESOME!

This has been a CMNS Moment.... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

Check this guy out:

Bob was surprised that Nancy was able to resist his jaunty, "sweater pulled down over the shoulders" look.

Seriously, was that ever a thing?

And let's have one last CMNS Moment.... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

HAR!

This has been a CMNS Moment.... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)

See you next Thursday!

In Which Adam Unearths the Greatest Story in the History of Comic Books (this time for sure!)

From Boy Meets Girl #11, you see how they could make a story out of anything:

Okay... what that just said makes it an awesome story right there.

Yup.  That was it.  I didn't put every panel on there, but I can assure you that absolutely nothing else happened throughout that entire story that did not involve their domestic conflict of passive-aggressive olfactory assaults.  Nothing.

And that's awesome.  It read much better than Watchmen.

See you tomorrow!

In Which Batman Throws a Bat-Hissy

Batman #237 was fairly iconic for a couple of reasons.  First, there was this classic cover:

And.... yeah, it's pretty awesome.  But check it out inside the comic:

See?  The cover has roughly seven other items on it besides the artwork.  I understand the need for the title, the issue number and the price, but just look at how much more amazing that artwork is without all the jibber-jabber.  Comic book covers should have as little jibber-jabber as possible. And you may quote me on that.

This ish is also popular among comic nerds because it featured an appearance of the Rutland Halloween Parade: 

Where you'll see things like the X-Men's Havok and Captain America hanging out with Hawkman!

For thems what don't know, the Rutland Halloween Parade began back in 1960.  It had a heavy superhero theme and one of the early organizers, Tom Fagan, became friends with many comic creators and had a bunch of 'em stay at his house after he talked them into appearing in the parade in costume.  Other publishers besides DC would have issues spotlighting the parade and Fagan himself over the years, which made Tom Fagan pretty dang awesome.

Here we see "Thor" paying the DC Universe a visit, chatting it up with Denny O'Neil:

But then, Batman throws a hissy-fit and kind of ruins everything:

I'm not discounting the notion that Bats should be upset, but how do we feel about Bats losing his cool at all?  Denny O'Neil did some fine work, but Batman really took a testosterone loss when he fell in love with Talia.

And now for an installment of So ... THAT Happened!

So... THAT Happened! (tm!)

I mean , you can't fault Robin for using a disguise that works... but why did he bother tinting his legs all the way up to the old crotchal region?  And did he also tint the crotchal region?  Not to be all focused on Robin's crotchal region, but.... you know, some things lead to perfectly legitimate questions.  I guess when you are trained by Batman, you learn to just be through for the sake of being thorough.

That issue I was griping about yesterday?  Apparently it wasn't just me:

Wow!  Even a letter from Bob Rozakis!  Awesome!

See you tomorrow!