In Which Captain America Goes to Heck

As we've seen, Captain America without Nazis just isn't the same.  By 1954, there was a new enemy for America, but... well, I'll let you be the judge:

It seems like the WWII comics were much more about the ideals of America rather than "we're awesome and everyone else is scum" of these issues.  It's just an opinion, of course, but the comics clearly weren't striking a chord with readers because the title would finally be cancelled in an issue or two.

But right before that, for two glorious issues, Captain America Comics became Captain America's Weird Tales.  Thusly:

I guess I'll answer the door to my apartment in full costume.  Because why not?

Yoda?  Is that you?

Captain America.... damned for all eternity by bureaucracy.  Awesome! 

Captain America going to Hell to fight a dead Red Skull is all kinds of awesome.  Don't even try to tell me it isn't.

Suddenly! (tm!)

But then...

It was Only a Dream... or WAS It? (tm!)

And then there was this:

$3.49 including the crotch piece?  I would have paid $3.49 for the crotch piece alone!  Also awesome!

See you tomorrow!

Batman Asks that You Please Hold Your Applause... Unless It's Lusty

Take a look at the title for the cover story of Batman #165:

I had no idea quitting the human race was an option.  There are days I would totally take you up on it.

Have you heard about Batman's physical prowess?  Well, he's happy to tell you about it:

Your "tip-top physical condition"?  Well, toot toot, Batman!

And then there was this:

I'm not sure what "lusty" applause sounds like.  I would expect a lot of heaving breathing and the like.

Anyway:

A WOMAN?  SPUTTER! SPUTTER! WHY, I NEVER...

And finally....

The conflict would rage on for years.  Many would join their respective causes, and many would die. But they would die at peace, knowing that they were giving their all for an ideal greater than themselves.  'Twas all at once the most tragic yet triumphant of times... a time of different-flavored fudge.

Okay, it was silly.  But I think vanilla fudge actually sounds kinda good.  And wasn't there a band called Vanilla Fudge?

Hey, there was!  And they were on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon some years back:

Bitchin'!

See you tomorrow! 

Barbara and Cliff and Fred and Carol

EGAD!  It's more from Boy Meets Girl Comics #9!

Let's check in on Barbara and Cliff:

Yeah, I'll just bet Barbara's mother loves cleaning up after you two.  But Babs is a working gal, so....

Insert your own "Never turn down the opportunity for boning" joke here.

Enough of that.  What's up with Fred and Carol?

Any girl who says you have to "prove" your affection for her is always worth it

Carol: Mistress of the Double Standard

Oooooh!  DENIED by Fred!

I wish Fred would ask me so I can turn him down.

Carol is a terrible person.  Can we all agree to that?

Well... Touche! (tm!)

But this is a romance comic, so love (or whatever it is those two have) prevails:

Fred would have been better off winning the bet.  We're all thinking it.

Hey!  Let's get sexy!

Yeah!  The Redoos-U-Suit!  All the stars are doing it!

See you tomorrow!

Your Manhood as Defined by Your Cigarette Case

Because I know how much you loooooooove when I talk about ads and loooooooooove Boy Meets Girl Comics even more, let's look at this hilarious ad I found in Boy Meets Girl Comics #9!

Because nothing says sophistication and high romance like a lady puffing a 'gert.

For some reason, that's making me laugh.  Smoke that bent 'gert, lady!  If John can find you a match!

Oooooooo... shown up by a guy who had straight 'gerts and a light.  That's gotta hurt!

Yes, indeed!  A real man always has straight 'gerts and lights.

Check this out:

23 Karat Gold, eh?  This must be a quality item!  Wonder what it's made of?

Well... I stand corrected.

Say... your cigarette case.... is that plastic MOTTLED?

Why yes... yes it is.

What a man! 

Sorry.  It amused me.  That's gonna happen.

Hootenanny!

Batman #164 is something of a landmark issue.  Then again, with this opening scene, how could it not be?

Did you know that the guy who played Robin on the Batman TV show in the 60's cut an album?

Well, sorta:

Frank Zappa rules.  Here's more on that bit if'n you're so inclined.

But I don't think there are any hootenanny songs on that album.

Hootenanny is the rage!  THE RAGE, HEPCATS!

Anyway, the comic is really starting to take the tone of the tv show.  Here, we have the first appearance of...

.... although in the show, they slid down poles.  Maybe that was too tough to draw.

And here's the first appearance of the Silver Age Batmobile!

And here's a... a....

... well, it was just a garage door opener.  Those things had been around since 1926 and were certainly common after WWII.  This reminds me of that time Sue Storm was showing off the marvelous invention known to us as "the windshield."  Shut up, Sue.  (tm!)

I believe we were promised some hootenanny.

That's better.

Oddly enough, even though the tv show would have costumed villains more often than not, the comics would often go in the opposite direction.  Here's a cringeworthy happening for every Batman fan:

Man, that was not a proud moment.  Both of them were schooled by a pretty average crook.  He was obviously a bit clever but still.  

Give me more hootenanny!

Why is Dick Grayson saying the song is honoring him?  This song is about Batman and Robin!

Oh, crap!  Did I Just Say That Out Loud? (tm!)

See you Monday!

In Which Batman Probably Isn't the Best Choice of Defense Counsel

Hey!  It's Batwoman II piloting a giant flying hand, courtesy of Batman #163:

Ugh.  That would have been totally cool if she had just kept her mouth shut.  You're piloting a giant flying hand!  Why ruin it by talking.  Eeesh.  Shut up, Batwoman! (tm!)

Moving on to the next story, check out this great moment with the Joker:

Wait for it... wait for it...

Wait for it... wait for it...

YEAH!  It's not that I have anything against Robin.  But that's a hilarious visual.  I can just picture him getting sucked into the vacuum cleaner, his little green shoes flailing about.  That's a Moment of Comic Book Greatness (tm!), folks!

And then this happened:

Hmmm... I think Robin is overselling it here.  They may be kind of an eyesore, but I don't see any evidence that they're deadly.  I mean, it's not like I'm going to go on Zillow and look for "Homes with Gigantic Joker  Jack in the Boxes in the Front Yard" or anything.  Is that even a search option on Zillow?  Because it probably should be.

And that led into this:

Okay (A) As an attorney myself, I have had trials where I would swear to you that sort of thing really happened and (B) That was actually quite hilarious on the Joker's part.

Good stuff!  See you tomorrow!