Let's see if we can judge these books by their cover! It'll be fun!
Actually, Perry is probably quite sane. He's just as sick of Lois as the rest of us, but the law (for some reason) won't allow him to actually shove Lois's head into the lion's mouth like you know he really wants to. He's just playing the hand he's dealt.
I don't have access to this actual ish yet, so I'm using the cover scan found on comics.org. But I totally wish I did. Mostly because I see a lot of comedic potential in a story called, "The Three Scoops of Death." Anyone over the age of 35 knows why:
Yeah, I'd work that in there somehow.
Meanwhile...
The People of Planet Z had developed interplanetary telecommunications and a tractor beam capable of hauling Superman off the planet, yet still couldn't quite get a handle on male pattern baldness...
Next ish, Superman learns what most of us know already...
... you didn't cross Bob Ross.
Okay, if you don't know who Bob Ross was, that's not funny. You totally know who he was. He was this guy...
Wow, last week was terrible, and I'm not sure the rest of the month will be better. But unless a day just completely gets away from me, I'll keep up the posts!
From America's Best #17, I'd like to introduce a new CMNS meme we're going to call Shut Up, Tim. (tm!)
It goes like this:
Shut up, Tim. (tm!)
From that same issue, we have this awesome panel where you can see that the letterer had a bit of difficulty with margins:
Wow, can you believe the editor let him get away with that? He must have been a real pushover.
Um, this looks a little ... er... awkward.
Look, I put the word "indestructible" in bold, and there is no way I'm going to re-do all that dialog. So you'll print it and you'll like it!
Oh... ok.
Meanwhile, from Pep Comics #25, here's a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)
This has been a CMNS Moment... of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)
So, we're still on Golden Age Green Lantern #14, where Alan visits the worst doctor ever.
I don't know what he's doing, but whenever people block you with their back, they aren't up to anything good.
That's the go-to in the medical profession. If they can't come up with a diagnosis, they go with hypochondria. Because, of course, it's not possible that Dr. Mustache there is simply stumped. No, the problem is clearly that Alan's pains are psycho-somatic.
What's the cure? To smile!
I have to admit, Alan Scott is clearly one of those people who shouldn't smile. And I'm not being mean, because I'm one of those people that shouldn't smile. It just doesn't look good, so I go with the Raymond Burr grin:
The doctor agrees with me, although I think he's something of an alarmist:
Did I mention he's the worst doctor ever?
Moving on to a Moment of Comic Book Greatness! (tm!)
And, by the looks of things, he's telling the horse a filthy, filthy joke!
And we'll end today with another installment of That Doesn't Work That Way! (tm!)
According to the Martin-Schultz scale of eye color, "black" is not an eye color at all.
Unless we're making an inappropriate joke about punching your children in the eyes.... which I am not doing.
So let it be known... Eye Color Doesn't Work That Way! (tm!)
In light of the U.S. Government shutdown, I thought we might want to hear some perspective from Superman himself, courtesy of Action Comics #169:
Wow! Regardless of where you fall on the whole issue, it's interesting to see a comic editorializing like that. It was certainly a different time!
Meanwhile, in Green Lantern volume 1, #14:
I don't know about you, but I would buy the heck out of a comic that was nothing but Walter and Mabel arguing. Just arguments... no making up, no resolutions, just 27 pages of them bickering with each other, and I'll happily plop down a few bucks.
Shakin' away those work stress blues with a look at America's Best Comics #28:
I hate to be the one to interrupt Miss Masque's tirade of righteous indignation...
.... but it is clearly posted not to park there.
Just stay out of it, Black Terror. There's nothing good there for you.
Hey! Ads!
Okay, just so we're clear, this "juke box" doesn't actually play anything. If you "bring it out at parties or when company comes to call," I think it's a safe bet people are going to quit coming to your home for social occasions because you're scamming them. What kind of a jerk would you be to have this thing?
Hey, remember this?
As everyone under the age of 30 goes, "huh?" Yes, this is what we used to use before your magic computers came along, kids. And I well tell you this... it was never easy to type a document. If you made a mistake, you had to retype the whole bloody page. I even had one teacher who made you put footnotes in your typewritten papers, which meant you had to guess how much space you needed at the bottom for the footnotes, put a little pencil mark on the page so you'd know when to stop typing, and scream like a drunk merchant marine you made any kind of mistake at all. Teachers were really sadistic back in my day. My conflicts with them were never my fault, on that you can rely!
Hey! It's time for some Fun with Out of Context Artwork! (tm!)
I'm sorry, miss, but if you're going to join us, that'll be another $250.
No, I'm not proud of that one, but I played the hand I was dealt.
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