Self-Indulgent Wednesday!

As Comics Make No Sense Facebook fans have already seen, Yours Truly has been collaborating with artist extraordinaire Gabe Ostley on a project we've tentatively entitled Victoire unless we come up with something better. As my pals, allow me to share with you the exact same thing we're submitting to the indies in hopes of picking up a mini-series try-out:










And there are still 14 pages to go in the first issue alone. Doesn't it just make you want to go right out and buy a copy??? But you can't! At least, not yet! But wish us luck as we make our pitch for our own place in comic history!

See you tomorrow!

Turns Out You CAN Startle a Fish Tuesday!

Here's where we see Adam just give up.


So now, the Black Condor can swim like a freakin' dolphin. And you know, if a person can learn to fly just by living with a bunch of birds, why wouldn't those skills translate under water?

Oh, comics, why must you test my love for you?

I shall become a creature of the night. I shall become... a bat!

A bat who fights crime with over-sized candy canes.......


and big ol' tubs o' taffy:


Hey, those batarangs aren't cheap, and you don't always get them back! You've got to save a buck or two whenever you can.

Yes, I know it wasn't really Bruce under the cowl at that particular moment, but you know that was something he would have done back then. Don't act like it matters, because we both know it doesn't.

That was from Detective Comics #222, by the way.

See you tomorrow!

Finger-Lickin' Dead Monday!

Captain Triumph was rarely an interesting read, largely because he didn't have any interesting foes. But then came Crack Comics #61:


Mr. Pointer was all kinds of awesome. Why? Because as we've discussed before, it's hilarious when a villain puts the hurt on you by pointing his finger:


Yes, Biff. It's very important that you catch the dead person before they bump their head on the ground or something.

The act of killing someone by pointing at them was never actually called "Giving them the finger," but you know it came up during an editorial meeting and was quite a riot. I still assert that whenever someone's power is based on pointing a finger, it should be the middle finger. Can you just imagine how hilarious that would be? I know you're using your own middle finger as a gun right now and giggling. Don't pretend you aren't.

Hey, kids! Learn to play the preferred instrument of hobos and early 20th Century convicts everywhere!:


"Learn the joy of sweet mouth-organ music by tonight!" Oh, my. Oh, my my my.

See you tomorrow!

It's THROBBING! Friday!

From Detective Comics #210:


Why is everyone standing so close together? It doesn't show it, but I'm pretty certain that they had to have their arms wrapped around each other in an inappropriately intimate way to get that close. And they're yelling in unison, which is always fun.

Guys named "Brain" are generally not a very interesting character, but at least this guy had uniforms:


I'm not sure about that insignia. The outline of a brain looks kind of like a butt since he didn't draw in all those little squiggly things. Don't take short cuts, kids! Take some pride in your work, or you'll end up in obscurity like "Brain" Hobson.

And how did someone's jumpsuit get "pulled off" in a tussle? That just doesn't seem possible, unless the K-9 unit was just left to his own devices, in which case I would expect the thing to be shredded and smelling of urine and feces. Something just doesn't add up.

Hey! It's time for Fun with Out of Context Dialogue!(tm!):



See you Monday!

Evil Wears a Coonskin Cap Thursday!

I showed you one of the Trapper's talkative thugs yesterday, but I didn't really show you the man himself. So here you go:


Hmmmmm. Where have I seen this before?



Well. How about that?

Annnnnd moving on. Hey, kids! Here's another Really Bad Idea! (tm!):


I don't care how many of you there are, confronting a leopard with nothing more than bubble gum is a Really Bad Idea! (tm!) ..... especially if the authorities coming to assist you are only armed with butterfly nets, as seems to be the case here.


I could hardly wait to get alone in my room to draw. I learned a lot... like if you spend all your time drawing, you get even more time alone in your room to draw, because the phone never rings and people stop checking in on you.


See you tomorrow!

Your Morse Code is Riveting Wednesday!

Was it just me, or did Robert Downey Jr. mumble a lot in Sherlock Holmes? Because I couldn't understand a word he said, and normally I'm a big fan. It's a shame, because it was a very pretty movie, even if I couldn't tell what he said.

I'm not sure I would hire this guy to be my henchman. On the one hand, he's so tough that he can speak articulately and in complete sentences, even while getting punched in the face:


but then he just doesn't shut up:


This is a good lesson as to keeping your lackeys on a "need to know" basis.

Then Batman uses a communication technique normally reserved for ham radio operators and guys trapped in caves:


.... and seriously? Batman needs to invest in some walkie-talkies. If your life is hinging on your ability to distinguish Morse Code out of traffic repair noises, you really aren't as equipped as you should probably be.


This raises an interesting technical question: Do you fire away with a few "rat-a-tat's" that say "Hey! Pay attention! I'm using Morse Code!" or do you just launch straight in with the message? Because I don't see how Robin didn't miss the first few letters. There's also the question of timing - unless Robin was traveling with the speed of a Segway, it seems like either there would be no time to complete the message, or it would be a completely indistinguishable series of noises. It would be more like "Hey, that's Morse Code! R-O-B-I-N-P-U... AIEEEEEEEEE!"

I'm over-thinking it, aren't I? I probably am.


The thug wouldn't talk? I respect you, Commissioner, but it's time to review the Gotham City Police Department Interrogation Techniques, because we couldn't get him to shut up just a few minutes ago.

Ah, comics. Thank you, Detective Comics #206!

See you tomorrow!

Pollyanna with Pants On Tuesday!

Hey! Here's a contribution from our pal Robert Gillis from Superboy #80. As I understand it, Supergirl went back in time and met Superboy and then realized that, like all females, she was stupid and had poor judgment:


Now, I don't know if Supergirl is exaggerating, but if the adult Kal-El has her convinced that she is capable of committing an infraction that would warrant him banishing her from the entire planet.... well, this girl needs domestic violence counselling. And Superman is a jerk. Did I mention that today?

Here's a Facepalm Worthy Moment!(tm!):


From Crack Comics #43, we have the origin of the Red Torpedo. Notice that the General is holding an exact model of the future Red Torpedo's sub in his very hands.

By the end of the story, this exact sub has been built and assisted the Navy in ways described to the General by Jim Lockhart, who would become the Red Torpedo:


The fact that the General just can't quite put it together that a mysterious hero piloting a submarine that his former subordinate pitched to him is the Red Torpedo is.... well, I facepalmed. It happens when you read bad comics on purpose.

Here's a little slang that we don't use anymore, but we should:


I have no idea what it means, but if a kid said it, you know it was cool. It probably still is.

See you tomorrow!