Eavesdropping on Daredevil Friday!

You know how last year I went on for months making fun of the Fantastic Four? I just couldn't help it because the stories actually got worse as I went along. Why anyone read this for the first 40 years, I don't know.

Equally baffling to me is why Daredevil paled before the FF in sales. Compared to the embarrassment of riches I had in the FF, zingers I can make about the Daredevil series are actually few and far between.

That being said, here's a couple of things from Daredevil v.1, #42:


Where do bad guys get those big photos of themselves to hang on the walls of their secret lairs? Do they go to a Moto Photo and just get the uber-wallsize, or do they take a regular snapshot to Kinko's? I'm guessing the Kinko's option, because those folks are generally pretty bored and probably wouldn't notice.

And now, a couple of totally cheap giggles I got by taking the dialogue totally out of context:



Dodging the "thrusts" were bad enough, but then things took an extra scary turn:


Not that you were wondering, but just so there is no doubt: There is no good way to "butt" me. In fact, "butting" me is not an option. My keister is exit-only, and there's no technique you're gonna come up with that will change my mind.

And, since I seem to have no shame today, here is a classic piece of dialogue from Daredevil v.1, #44:



I can't imagine why so many of Matt's ex-girlfriends ended up heroin-addicted porn stars and paid assassins....

Daredevil's Guide to Life Thursday! Updated!

Check out the cover to Daredevil #41. It looks like a snapshot from his American Idol audition. Moooooon riiiiiiverrrr.....
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From Daredevil Annual #1:


That's right, Bill Gates! All your gadgets and toaster strudels don't take the place of a family! So there!

Wait.... Bill Gates has a family, doesn't he? Never mind.

But one thing I'll bet Bill Gates doesn't have:


A billy club full of hoodia!
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From Secret Society of Super-Villains Special:


I have to agree with you, random bad guys. That is a seriously weird move. I can't even tell what the heck he's doing...

Update! For some reason, if you look at Batman with your head tilted to the left, then watch this video, it starts making all kinds of sense!

Retro-tastic Wednesday!

More grumpy old man reminiscent ramblings!

From Secret Society of Super-Villains #6:

Because nobody demanded it!


Black Canary tweets again!
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From Secret Society of Super-Villains #9:


Back when this was published, looking like Farrah Fawcett-Majors was the supreme compliment. Seriously. It really was. Someone back me up here!

And for more retro fun from that same issue:


The Trickster produces a high-tech punch card. You whippersnappers fuss and moan about Microsoft, but you have no idea how miserable life was before Windows.
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Here's one of the best things I've ever read, courtesy of the very recent Countdown #46:


The return of the public service announcement, and a damn fine one at that. If you aren't too good to patronize an establishment, you've got no business ragging on the people who work there. Anyone who is working an honest job deserves respect on that basis alone, so take a cue from the Pied Piper and don't be a jerk when things don't go your way. Constructively complaining is fine, degrading a fellow human being is something else. Don't be a putz.

And that's one to grow on!

Super Sensitive Nostril Tuesday!

From Adventure Comics #354-355. These issues were later reprinted in a DC Super-Stars Giant, which is where I read the tales of the adult Legion of Super-Heroes. I think I lost and re-bought that issue on at least four different occasions.

This two-part storyline of the adult LSH wasn't really much different from the regular teenage LSH, but even the most casual Legion fan remembers the prophetic details of what would happen to many of the characters. But the greatest moment wasn't in finding out who died, who married whom, the sneak preview of characters yet to come, or who would lose their powers. Oh, no. The jewel in the crown was thus:


Yup. Super-sensitive nostrils. "Nostril" is a word we don't use enough these days, and I'm going to change that, single-handedly if need be. Nostril.

But when we finally tear ourselves away from the drama that is the Nostrils of Tomorrow, check out the opening page of part II:


Whoever these mystery characters are, we can only hope it's someone with better aim. Seriously, these two warring factions are what.... three feet from each other? Lightning is flying everywhere, and no one takes a hit. It's like the big battle scene in any episode of The A-Team.

I love how Saturn Woman and Saturn Queen are fighting each other with bitch looks. I guess when you're a telepath, all you can physically do to your opponent is give her a dirty look.


Oh, no you di'it!


Oh, yes, I did!


Bitch!


Skank!

and so on, and so on, until one of them takes off their earrings and the weave-pulling begins.

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From Secret Society of Super-Villains #6:


I hate to be one of those fanboys, but when did Captain Cold's pistol become a Green Lantern ring? It shoots out ice. That's about it. So, an iceberg is fine. We can also accept something along the lines of an ice bridge or maybe an ice slide. Sure.

But life-sized, detailed ice sculptures of football players? Not so much. I just don't see the good Captain having the kind of time required to crank out something like that. And, even if given all the time in the world, I don't think Deadshot would have the weaponry skill involved to give the statues that kind of intricate detail, and he's got much better aim than Captain Cold.

One thing is for certain, though:


Fear the mighty "TWEEE!" of Black Canary.

Nostril! Tweee! Nostril!

The Tragic Story of Youth Monday!

From Adventure #351....


You'd think someone with Ferro Lad's disfigured face would be a bit more sympathetic but no, even the hideously deformed like to pick on fat people. I don't even need a space suit, and you're too fat to fit in one? Sucks to be you! Lard ass!
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This is one of my favorite ads ever. There has been a wreck, that car looks like it's seconds away from exploding, and the moron in the window is using the telegraph to call for help.

Seriously, Junior, could you put the toy down for just a second and use the phone? Time is rather of the essence here....

No way! I've been waiting for this chance all my life!

Kid, I've got internal bleeding going on here!

Just a second! I've almost tapped out the first word! Gosh, I hope someone is listening on the other end!

Really, kid.... I'm fading fast!

And his buddy on the other end there doesn't look like he's going to be much help. Then again, what's he supposed to do when he hears "S.O.S." over and over? Summon the Royal Navy?
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From Adventure #352, we have yet another PSA....


Those are pretty inspiring, and it gives you yet another idea of how much we've declined. Who would we hold up to inspire kids these days? Kobe Bryant? Michael Vick? Mike Tyson?

Yeah, I know I'm sounding old. I don't care. It's a perfectly valid point.
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And, just because I thought it was funny:

Straight-Talkin' Legion Friday!

From Adventure Comics #351


Finally, someone comes right out and says it: Rich folks are more deserving of protection from crime than poor folks. Why has it taken us so long to figure that out?
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Remember, the Legion is a democracy, but when the votes have been counted...


you don't sass Invisible Kid. Any guy unafraid to wear a headband in public will mess you up!
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Just so you could see it firsthand:


Yup, that's Shrinking Violet flying into Superboy's cranium by going up his nose. What more needs to be said?
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As fanboys and fangirls all over know, Iron Man opens today! Check out my favorite Iron Man cover, ever:


Actually, if they changed the title to Tony Stark: Boozehound, I'd probably read it.

See you Monday!

My Name is Matt Murdock and I'm a Sexual Deviant Thursday!

Through peer pressure, Matt Murdock begins his descent into the "swinging" lifestyle....



.... lured by the promise of forbidden acts he never even dreamed.



Well, I certainly didn't need to know Matt was into that. TMI! TMI!



Oh, now it's just getting nasty. Reboot! Reboot! Starting tomorrow, we pretend this whole post never happened!