Stuff You Can't Miss Thursday!

I'm gonna digress a bit more, and share with you some stuff I haven't seen, but I'd love to:


This is an ultra-rare promo shot of a proposed Black Widow / Daredevil TV series from the 1970's that never got off the ground. DD looks awful, and I can't stand the Widow as a character, but I still wish this had seen the light of day.


You'd buy a ticket to see Batman Fights Dracula. Don't try and tell me you wouldn't. Yes, this was a real film from 1967 in the Philippines.

Some Golden Age Serials:


Spy Smasher.... I can't even find a clip of this one, but I'd love to see it.


With the addition of Congorilla to the next Justice League re-boot (gee, has it been three weeks already?), this is an interesting conversation piece. Near as I can tell, though, you only get Congo Bill. No gorilla.


The original Vigilante, complete with Stuff! Stuff was a teenaged sidekick who had to do a lot of errands - he was somewhere on the usefulness meter between Tonto and Alfred.

The East Indian Superman Movie:

I wish I could tell you that all Indian films didn't have a scene like this in them.

I wish I could tell you that.

Captain Marvel, circa 1941:


Caminhos do Coraco:

Near as I can tell, it's a Heroes-type show from Brazil. If this is ever dubbed, someone let me know.

KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park:

This was a TV Movie back in 1978 when Marvel Comics put out a KISS Treasury Edition-Size book. I want to watch this, and I've had the opportunity, but I just can't make it through. KISS hates that it exists, so I can't let it go, but watching the whole thing? Can't do it.

So, there you have it.... If you've seen any of these, let me know if they're worth tracking down.

Tomorrow, I complete the Trilogy with a list of good stuff I have seen that you might have missed!

Then, back to the silly panels...

Ultra-Special Movietime Wednesday!

Okay, I didn't do a special "April Fool's Day" edition, but this is largely because I just didn't wanna.

But to make it up to you, my lovelies, here is an extra-special edition of CMNS.

I just read Entertainment Weekly's "Worst Superhero Movies" list, and I've gotta tell you, folks are just spoiled (or as I like to say, "spoilt"). Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider, Ben Affleck as Daredevil, Alec Baldwin as the Shadow, Billy Zane as the Phantom.... I don't know how to break it to you guys, but I enjoyed each and every one of these. Yes, even the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Maybe what the staff of EW could use from us old-timers is what we used to have to satisfy our dreams of seeing our favorite heroes in live action. And you know what? I don't even have to touch Adam West as Batman to prove my point:

I barely have to go back a decade to give you a glimpse of the Justice League of America tv pilot:



Aren't they something? My favorite part is J'Onn J'Onzz played by David Ogden Stiers, the guy who played Charles Emmerson Winchester on M*A*S*H. As we all know, J'Onn usually goes around shirtless, but we were mercifully spared checking out Stiers' physique. I kept hoping this unaired pilot would be some underrated gem, like Ron Ely as Doc Savage or the Bill Bixby / Lou Ferrigno "Incredible Hulk" TV series. It wasn't.
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The Wrong Way to do a super-hero television show:


The next person to bitch about the Spider-Man movie franchise gets a kick in the kidneys, because this was the best action shot I could find from the entire Nicholas Hammond Spider-Man tv series from the 70's. Yup. Spidey kicking a guy in the tuckas was the highlight of all the episodes.

Now, I will tell you, Nicholas Hammond (who was one of the children in The Sound of Music movie with Julie Andrews) was a pretty good Peter Parker (although a little long in the tooth). Sadly, the stuff becomes unwatchable after Spider-Man appears, which is never a good sign. Also, as a fanboy, it committed the cardinal sin of super-hero cinema: Not a super-villain from the comics to be seen.

The right way to a super-hero tv show:


Compare this to the Flash show of the 80's, which had live-action versions of Captain Cold, the Mirror Master and the Trickster from the comics. I watched the entire run of the Flash recently and actually enjoyed it more now than I did back in the day. For some reason, when the Flash was originally aired, I couldn't forgive Barry Allen as a brunette and red boots instead of yellow. So I can admit to my own hyper-sensitive fanboy moments, but I outgrew them. The Flash tv show is on DVD, and well worth it.
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It's no secret I loves me some Captain Marvel, and I wanted desperately to like this show, but even at the age of nine, I knew this blew. Again, no villains from the comics (how hard would it be to dress up a guy like Dr. Sivana?), condescending plots, and Cap's powers were totally undercut (ie, a guy who trades punches with Superman in the comics strains to break a chain keeping a fence locked). And Billy drives around with an elderly guy in an RV. I wish I was kidding. Hopefully, the upcoming movie will return some much needed cred.
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And how can we forget the live-action rendition of the Superfriends cartoon (you know, the one where they had to substitute the word "destroy" for "kill" and no one was allowed to throw a punch). On the one hand, it was the first time we had ever seen Green Lantern or the Flash live, so fanboys around the world wanted it to be better than it was. But just as we learned that it was a bad thing for a girl to say she really liked you as a friend, disappointment ravaged our souls.
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Forget the movie with J.D. Sallinger's kid - check out Evel Kinevel Captain America of the 70's!
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say I didn't hate the George/Ahnold Batman & Robin movie, because I'm old enough to know what hardships my ancestors endured.

So, there you have it. Now, quit yer fussin'.

Dirty, Dirty Tuesday!

Just to vex foldedsoup, who usually makes funnier jokes out of my posts than I did, I give you a post that is nothing but dialogue (and perfectly filthy out of context). If 'soup can figure out a way to tinker with *that* without violating Blogger's terms of service, I'm sure we'll all be impressed by how much time he must truly have on his hands....
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Matt (Daredevil) Murdock plots stalking his secretary. Is anyone besides me hearing a creepy version of "Every Breath You Take" playing in the background?
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Hey, kids! Experience the magic and wonder of obtaining a municipal permit! Next week: How to properly employ the doctrine of promissory estoppel in contract disputes!

It's a Wild, Wacky Monday!

Two old Daredevil villains have a disagreement. Watch as the Marauder gives the Gladiator a blast that will, according to the sound effect, give him skin problems! ZIT!
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Check out the size of Night Girl's helmet. I hear NASA has extra large helmets to accommodate big hair....
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To be fair, they accounted for this in the story, but I'm gonna say it anyway:
One of us will die, unless it's me, Mon-El, or anyone with enough sense to duct tape their rod to the coffin!

Again, to be fair, they wrote their way around this in the story. To tell the truth, I was just angry that this issue teased me with the false hope that Saturn Girl was dead. I'm over it now.

Sophie's Choice Friday!

It's no secret that I loves doing me some blogging about silliness I find in comics. And yes, some entries are funnier than others, but you're only as good as what you find. Sometimes, pickings are slim.

But sometimes.... just when you thought you've seen it all, you run into a vein of "Greatest Panels in the Medium of Graphic Storytelling" and you just don't know what to do with that embarassment of riches.


The expression on Krypto's face. His dialogue. Superboy in the corner eating out of a dog dish. Can you imagine the excitement I felt when I found this?

But then:


How awesome is that?

And these are hilarious if you substitute the word "bones" for "boning." It's not that big of an adjustment, and the laugh dividends are huge. Try it!:




I had a grandmother who was an elementary school music teacher. She was one of the sweetest ladies who ever walked the earth, and she would never understand why or how I take perfectly innocent things and make them raunchy.

So, what's the Greatest Panel in the History of Graphic Storytelling?

My vote this week is Brainiac 5 smacking Saturn Girl:


You know we'll be seeing that one again!

Everything Old is New Again Thursday!

I'm not saying I could do any better, but look at this:



Am I the only one thinking this?:


Was I? Sorry. It just reminded me of that.

"I'm sorry, Miss Saturn Girl, but them pork chops was awful dry. I brought you a new can of space salmon!"

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Yeah! Girls just get in the way when it comes to real danger! Preach on, Brainy!

Seriously, people. Have you noticed that Brainiac 5's main function is to tell people they're being left out?
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Guys, the next time you're busted picking up a streetwalker, tell them you were just asking her for a Tootsie Roll and show him this ad! It won't get you off the hook, but it never hurts to have a funny story to tell the Judge....

Always Dissing the Fat Guy Wednesday!

Once again, when Brainiac 5 is telling you to step off, you've got to re-examine your social standing. Why is Brainy the guy always telling people they can't come along, anyway?

In any sense, I doubt the radio is so complicated it takes two people to answer it. If you don't want to have me along, at least make up a better excuse than that.


Ah-HA! You thought I was paranoid, didn't you? So, Bouncing Boy is handy to have at parties, but it pretty much ends there. Because, as we all know, fat people have nothing but comic relief to contribute to the world, ever.
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He has to save you, Lana? Really? He has to? I think that's a pretty strong term...

Just once I'd like to see Clark say, "Well, she got herself into this mess, and it's not like it's my job to save her or anything..."
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I'm not a veterinarian, but I don't think it's making earthquakes. Check out the expression on its face. When my dogs have that expression, I keep 'em away from my leg, if you know what I mean....