Back in the Saddle Tuesday!

Again, sorry about yesterday. Blogger is normally pretty reliable and easy to use, but I guess even the best of us have off days.


Hey, check out the ultra-complicated Legion secret handshake! No way the Fatal Five will ever crack that one! Do they have a secret password, and if they do, does anyone think it isn't "password?"
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You're getting a little too dependent on Clark, Ma. I mean, are there no pot lids or .... I dunno, baking soda in the house? It's not like the whole joint is burning down around your ears. Yet.

If I were Clark, I'd put the fire out just to shut her up. But instead of doing it by blowing it out with my super-breath, I'd try something different like farting. Surely he can fart hard enough to put out a small grease fire. I mean, why wouldn't he be able to do that?

Eeeek! Clark! Don't put it out that way!

Sorry, Ma! You said to use one of my many super-powers, so I thought I'd show off a little...

Can you believe DC Comics hasn't contacted me about a writing position with them?
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Matt... my darling.... I would have waited for you forever.... but instead I'm going to become a heroin-addicted porn actress.... if only you had returned my calls....

The joke here, for you non-Daredevil fans, is that Karen Page did become a heroin-addicted porn actress, who sold Daredevil's secret identity for some smack.

I know you think I'm kidding, but I'm not.
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Ah, it feels better to blog again! Just to celebrate, let's check out another Fudge Judge! Fudge Judge! Frock! Sockamagee!

What The-? Monday!

Dear Ones,

Something's up with the Blogspot server and it isn't letting me upload pics. I'll keep trying, but it may be tomorrow before they get things working again.

Sorry.

More Fudge Judge Friday!

Back by popular demand! More Fudge Judge!


Previously, he was an actual judge. Now he's a cowboy? See what's happening here? It's the secret origin of the Village People!

Need more? Well, check it out:


A cop who Clark likes so much that he pulls a boner? All we need is the guy with the big moustache, and we've got ourselves a band!

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No matter how certain I was of my invulnerability, I would never test it with a buzz saw to my groin.

Jokes of Unending Shame Thursday!

I notice when I make these kinds of jokes, my number of comments goes way down while my actual site traffic goes way up.


Ah, I remember when I was younger and my rod could shatter glass....
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Best just wait until Pa finishes, Clark.
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Character Hall of Fame: Fudge Judge. When that term becomes commonplace in the next few years (along with "frock" and "sockamagee"), remember that you heard it here first.

Head-Scratchin' Wednesday!

Superboy isn't thinking about his grandmother as he patrols Smallville.....

I'm a little surprised it was even an issue. Has he been working on that or something?

Yay! An alarm-siren! Anything to get my grandmother out of my mind!

When I think of my grandmother, I think of a sweet lady who used to sing all the time and could play almost any song written before 1960 on the piano. I shudder to think what Clark's Gram-Gram did that causes him such torment.
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contributed by sPat:


I can't remember the rest of the story, so maybe there's more to it, but why is Spider-Man giving that piece of jewelry the finger?

Yeah, I know. Technically, it's his fourth finger, but you can tell what Steve Ditko was going for when he drew it.
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Well, I know someone who probably didn't get into art school with this particular "test of talent." If they did get into art school, I hope someone taught them a thing or two about skintones.

This strikes me as funny because we've all seen these "Draw Blinky!"-type ads a million times, but I've never seen anyone who actually took a shot at it. Someone sure did like the color red!

Frockin' Tuesday!

Character Hall of Shame: The Typewriter



Hey, it's in a comic, so it's fair game. Those of you who like to get all "when I was your age" about dot-matrix printers can just close your pie-holes right now, because nothing compares to the horrible inconvenience of a typewriter. You know that little "delete" key you use to get rid of mistakes? Not happening on a typewriter. If you messed up and didn't see it immediately, odds were huge you were going to have to type the whole thing over to get an error-free copy.

I can recall many assignments cranked out on the manual typewriter my parents had (which meant that I had to *bang* on the keys to get them to do anything). Some sadistic teachers even made me use footnotes, which meant guessing how much room I would need at the bottom of the page before I even began and putting a little pencil mark on the paper so I would know when to finish typing the body text. It was every bit as fun as it sounds.

So, imagine a world with no "cut and paste" or spellcheck or even backing up projects, and you can imagine how much fun school was for those of us over 40 years of age. Ya whippersnappers!
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courtesy of sPat:


See, it just goes to show how you can over-complicate a problem. Imagine how embarassed the Green Goblin will be when he learns that all you have to do to render Spider-Man imobile is to shine a bright light in his face. It's like when you go hunting frogs. If the Cat had been toting an oversized butterfly net, we could have been spared the entire Clone Saga.

Seriously, Peter. Besides having web-shooters and the "spider sense," the guy is two steps in front of you and talking. Do you think a little extra effort might still win the day here?
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Remember, orphans: A good frock will land you parents. If you haven't been adopted it's because your frock is not neat and lovely. Frock, frock, frock....

Star Boy Monday!

Yes, once again a super-powered adolescent boy found his way to Smallville. I'm starting figure out that Smallville was basically the Roswell, NM of the DC Universe in the 1960's. On the plus side, I think we've finally hit the run of Adventure Comics where the Legion of Super-Heroes is a regular thing, so we can focus on something besides how lame Superboy is.


Yes, son, this outfit will disguise you. No one will suspect that your secret identity is Thom Kallor..... except those who actually look at your face. Ask them not to do that.
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What an awkward piece of expository dialogue there, Cosmic Boy. Don't you think Star Boy knew that when he went through the application, the initiation, and the swearing-in ceremony?

"Is that what this is? I thought I was joining an opium den!"
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Hmmmmm... I guess in the 1960's, women used deceit, manipulation and blackmail to get what they wanted. Good thing they're so honest and straightforward with us these days. Right, guys? How is it that Lana didn't end up face down in a dumpster somewhere?