Who Gets Her Parking Space?

Don't you hate it when the art and the script don't match? Goodness knows I do.

Here is the Detroit-era JLA in crisis - Vixen is dying, and I suppose they care:



But not Steel. Check out the look on his face.




Do you think she called "shotgun" in the JLA Cruiser or whatever they were floating around in those days? You can almost see him thinking "At Last! The coffee mug with no visible stains on the inside is mine!" This is the face of a guy who is glad there's a little more job security.

I'm Not Fluent in Lumpy Alien....

but I'm guessing he's running because you suggested the use of a scalpel. My dogs tremble when they see me coming with the garden hose and a bottle of shampoo.

And this is the character whose powers are supposed to be based on empathy with animals. Were we so excited about the Batman movie in the late 80's that we just quit paying attention to other characters all together?

I'm Not Trying to Tell You How To Run Your Railroad, pt. 1

but if that's the case, shouldn't you send a CAPTURE-bot? I would think a KILLER-bot would be counter-productive.

Either Answer Would Have Been Accepted....

but Vixen didn't get either of them right, which is pretty much how the Detroit-era JLA went.

The question:



Please, audience, do not shout out the answer. Vixen, your answer is....



No, I'm afraid "Fear of Change" is not what we were looking for. We would have accepted either (a) The First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States or (b) that history has shown they DID fail, and fail huge, causing the book to be cancelled after a twenty year run.

Is This a Rhetorical Statement?

Um.... you can get the book cancelled in less than three years?

Seriously.... the team was led by Aquaman. Not that it isn't an improvement over Zatanna, but didn't he place dang-near dead last in a JLA reader's poll a mere few years before this new roster? That's like electing the asthmatic chubby kid who has coke-bottle glasses and headgear as Homecoming King. The joke wears off pretty quickly, and a lot of people are left standing around uncomfortably.

Evil Plays a Keytar

From JLA, Vol 1, Number 237 - this guy makes the Fiddler seem positively badass.

That's just not a cool instrument in any context, comics included.

Programming note: I was also going to make fun of the hair, but Wolverine still sports that look. Sigh.... a perfectly good Flock of Seagulls joke dies during delivery.

You Whippersnappers Don't KNOW Bad Comics, pt. 1

First, thanks to everyone for dropping me a line. We got smacked with some nasty weather, missing the actual blizzard by about 50 miles. We were deep in the white stuff, and everything was closed down for days. I'm very glad to be back in the saddle.

So, understand that I say this with love, but this goes out to everyone who is complaining about Marvel's Civil War. Now, I will tell you I am a "read it in the TPB" kind of guy, so I am clueless about what's going on and will continue to duck it until I can read the whole thing in two or three sittings.

That being said, I have heard your complaints. Yes, dear ones, I have heard your cries of preposterous retconning, character inconsistencies, and mysteries that just ain't that mysterious. I feel your pain. I do.

But, folks, I'm a child of the 1980's. I turned 12 in 1980 and graduated from undergrad in December of 1989, so I associate the 80's as my growing up years. I am grateful to have gone through adolescence during such a colorful time, and wouldn't have had it any other way.

However, it wasn't all Dark Night Returns and Watchmen. Oh, no. When I was around 19 years old, the only civil war I had to read about was this:



That's right - if I wanted civil war, I had to read about the United States Army vs. the United States of Rock. These guys were rocking too hard, and the Army was going to unleash major weaponry on their motorcycle cop mustaches and incredibly thin ties. 12 rockin' issues of Sonic Disruptors were comin' your way, baby!

Why? Well, the Congressional Hearings on legislation pushed by uptight busybody Tipper Gore were in full swing. Apparently, they felt that the answer to content that was inappropriate for minors was arresting record store clerks. What really annoyed me about the whole thing was that I was put in a position where I had to defend the artistic merits of 2 Live Crew and Twisted Sister, where I would normally like to throw rocks at how lame they are. It's like when everyone gangs up on Beth during MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge and I find myself actually feeling sorry for her. Dang it, people! Don't make me sympathize with Beth!

Anyway, the result of the brouhaha was that little "parental advisory" sticker you see on your CD cases, which is really all involved parents need to watch out for their children.

But, more importantly, this was Civil War, circa 1987. 12 issues. Granted, they were shipped on time, but really.... The United States Army vs. the United States of Rock. Anyone that unhappy with Marvel's Civil War series is welcome to trade with me.