Showing posts with label weapons that have no explanation whatsoever. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weapons that have no explanation whatsoever. Show all posts

Friday, November 2, 2012

The Moistened Body of the Shield


As you were warned yesterday, today we plow into Pep Comics #2.  Let's take another look at the Golden Age Shield, who wastes no time showing off his most amazing power yet:


Yes, the man can get out of an entire suit of clothing while being seated in a commercial aircraft.  I can't even unbend my knees.  That was dang impressive.

You know what else was impressive?  This:


Yeah!  You know he's gonna make you eat that gun, but you might as well get in his head with a little trash talk.  Kudos, Random Henchman!

Hey!  It's time for Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!):


I usually have cereal and toast.  It's hard to get it down when it's really cold outside, but fiber needs being what they are...

... oh, were we not talking about breakfast?  Moving on:


I'm not sure what he intended to accomplish by setting himself on fire first, but what more caught my eye was the ray gun that just came from out of nowhere:


A paralyzing ray?  What?  I promise you, there was no foreshadowing in this story that anyone had a paralyzing ray!  The Shield was just investigating piracy against oil tankers off the coast of Puerto Rico.  Who the heck said anything about a paralyzing ray?

I'll tell you one thing about a paralyzing ray:


It is useless against my moistened body.


I'm not sure how he pulled that off, because he didn't have any explosives on him, nor did we ever see any on the ship.  If he blew up the fuel supply, that was really short-sighted of him.  Couldn't the USA have used a few thousand gallons of oil?  Not to armchair quarterback the guy, but...

See you tomorrow!