Frank is Attracted to Helen's Cold Aloof Professionalism

So the Green Goblin returns and Pete is convinced it's Harry Osborn.  But, as any comics reader will tell you, new characters are usually introduced to be (a) future villains or (b) future victims of villains, so in Amazing Spider-Man #180, we learn that....

It's really the fault of the artist more than the writer.  On paper, Bart Hamilton's only major flaw was that he was a psychiatrist.  But as we've seen these last few days, the man's expressions and choice of decor gave us some pretty clear signals.  Between Bart Hamilton and Dr. Faustus, Marvel was really taking some digs at the mental health field.  I wonder what Freud would say about that?

Some relationship tips from Amazing Spider-Man #176:

Never use the phrase "sitting here feeling impotent" with anyone you find remotely attractive.  Even if you don't mean it that way, you're just putting ideas in her head you'd rather not be rattling around in there.

Here's more relationship advice from Amazing Spider-Man #182:

We can glean from Frank's comment that there's no "imbalance of power" there, so Frank is probably within the bounds of... 

Oh, Frank.  You just sailed right over the line there.  That radio call is probably from Human Resources.  Don't make any plans for Saturday, because I expect a sexual harassment workshop is in your immediate future.

See you tomorrow!

'Cause He's a Rocket Man... And I Think It's Gonna Be a Long Long Time... He's Not the Man You Think He is at All... HE'S THE ROCKET-RACEEEER...

As was pointed out by our eagle-eyed readers, Pete's "bad guy fake-out" problem in Amazing Spider-Man #170 was at least the third time something like this had happened:

Anyone know of any other times?  sPat? Robert Gillis? Marv?  Allergy?  My supply of Amazing isn't complete, so if anyone knows of any additional times this plot device was used, it would be fun to know about!

But you know who Pete hadn't been seeing illusions of?  The Rocket Racer.  Because he pops up in Amazing Spider-Man #172:

You know, he has made something of a comeback in recent years, even making a couple of appearances in the awesome Avengers Academy, not to mention an episode of Spider-Man: The Animated Series of the 1990s.

But he's still an awful character.

I think Pete was trying to oversell it there.  Granted, symbiote villains like Venom and Carnage were still more than a decade away, but I'm pretty sure this guy wasn't on the short list of villains to audition for the Sinister Six.

But that issue had JJJ dancing, so there's always that:

Fast forward to issue #174, where Harry is all emo because his fiance Liz Allen dumped him.  Why?  Because Liz's brother, who everyone except Aunt May seemed to know was the Molten Man, forced her to steal chemicals for him ("Why, Liz?  Why are you stealing chemicals?" "I can't tell you why, Peter!" "If only I remembered that you only do these things when your brother is in town and emotionally blackmailing you, I could solve this infernal mystery!") bit the big one and, as everyone who has ever been in a serious relationship will tell you, the death of a family member requires you to end an engagement.  Because that's the rule.

Anyway, Pete and Flash take Harry to that psychiatrist who gives me the creeps:

Oh.  Well he doesn't seem that creepy right THEREOHMYGOODNESSWHATISTHATONHISWALL?

You know what else will set my therapy back?  Looking at carved images of demons while I'm in therapy!

Oy.  See you tomorrow!

Robots and Hallucinations are NOT the Same Thing! We are NOT Running Out of Ideas!

The Amazing Spider-Man...

... respects posted instructions.

Signs, signs, everywhere signs... SING IT WITH ME!

Okay, enough of that.  Time for some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue(tm!):

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!

That's awesome.  It really is.

Let's take a look at Amazing Spider-Man #170: 

If we hadn't learned it already it's that mental health professionals in comics are always evil, and Doctor Faustus is no exception.  His main ability appears to be causing his cigarette holder to appear and disappear whenever the situation calls for it:

As we might expect the good evil doctor is using his psychiatric training for evil, causing Spidey to think he's gone wakka-wakka and getting attacked by his some of his greatest foes.  Well, his greatest foes and  Man-Wolf.  Thusly:

I'm not sure why seeing all of his enemies coming out of nowhere to attack him is surprising.  It seems like he's dealt with that before...

Oh yes:

Wow.  They didn't even get through two years of issues before they recycled that plot device.  They used different characters (for the most part, because you see the Vulture in both issues), but after my first go-round of seeing bad guys who aren't there and learning it was a sham, I'd be pretty skeptical the second time.  Especially so soon after the first time.  

But Pete's questioning his sanity on both covers.  I guess since Dr. Faustus used hallucinations in #170 and Smythe used robots in #150, we're supposed to think this is all a fresh idea or something.  Hey, comics were only 30 cents back then.  We took what they gave us.

See you Monday!

Whatever He Prescribes You, DON'T Take It!

So, as you may have noticed from yesterday's post, I've started going through Amazing Spider-Man again.  It's pretty easy to go back to it, because I followed that title pretty closely until I got distracted by the Byrne-era X-Men and the Miller-era Daredevil titles.  Even so, whenever I found an ish in a bargain bin, I couldn't resist picking it up.

Now, I have no idea what's going in Pete's life, and I'm a good twenty years behind in my reading. Especially when I go backwards to find awesome bits of drama like this one from Amazing  #166:

My life is an absolute shambles!  It's coming apart.  My... my...

my CHRISTMAS TREE FELL OVER!  What are we going to do now, Spider-Man?  WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?

To be fair, Beloved gets disproportionally upset at inanimate objects.  We almost didn't get married because she got her purse caught on a doorknob as she was walking past it.  True story!

Okay, I know it's on purpose here, but look at this from Amazing #167:

The Spider-Slayers are just so dang silly looking when JJJ's face is on them.  I know it's to emphasize how ridiculous the whole thing is, but .... I'm sorry, off to the Costume Hall of Shame (tm!) for any Spider-Slayer design that has JJJ's mug prevalent on it.

Oh, and check out this guy:

Yeah, who is it, Harry?

AIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!! STRANGER DANGER!  STRANGER DANGER!

I would never tell my deepest darkest secrets to anyone with that kind of facial expression.  It may be shallow of me, but I just have this thing that keeps me from relaxing around Satan.

Yeah, have fun.  Let me know how that works out after he slips you a mickey and you wake up chained to a wall of his basement.

Anyone not see it coming that he's an evil guy?  I mean, very few shrinks in comics aren't evil to begin with, but a shrink with that facial hair driving a sports car?  No thanks.

See you tomorrow!