Spider-Man has 99 Problems and the Ladies are 98 of Them!

Dear Ones, we have a holiday on Monday, so there will be no new posts until Tuesday!

Before I get to the point of today's post, I couldn't let this one pass by from Amazing Spider-Man #205:

Now for a little comic relief, these guys bear a deliberate resemblance to Bud Abbott and Lou Costello (making them ineligible for our new Hey... is that?(tm!) feature).

But "Easter eggs" are common in comics, so why would I bother you with this one?

Thusly: 

That, my friends, is a very unfortunate sound effect.  I don't know how long that word has been slang for something else, but it is perhaps one of the most hilarious things I've ever discovered when you consider this is literally a picture of Abbott "fapping" Costello.

Maybe it meant the same thing back then and someone knew exactly what they were doing, but I like to think that isn't the case.

Anyway, not you didn't already get your money's worth with that little exchange, let's take a look at Pete's love life.  In the previous issue, we meet.... I'm sorry, but I refuse to say that stupid name.  Let her introduce herself.

Based on the name and the look on Flash Thompson's face, I justifiably assumed she was an escort.  But no:

Okay, everyone got that?  Next issue:

Way to stick to your guns there, Pete!  

But, as is often the case when we do something we shouldn't, things don't go well:

SLAP HER! SLAP HER!

"In Iran, they execute people for thinking about what you'd like to do to her?"

Hmmmmm.... considering you're a male and she's a female, I think Shirin Ebadi might disagree with your interpretation of the Judicial System of Iran.  Then again, this comic was dated 1980, so it was hot on the heels of the 1979 overthrow of the Pahlavi Dynasty, so Pete's information might have been a bit dated.

Eisner Award Committee, please take note that I educate as well as entertain.

Before we break for today, let me put a bug in your ear because I'm going to bring this up later:

Okay, got that?  The Black Cat thinks she's in love with Spidey, but it's really some mis-placed daddy issues.  So, Pete does the ethical thing.  This time.  I guess that's to make up with the career-killer decision he almost made to date a student. 

Okay, so it would be wrong for Pete to take advantage of Felicia's issues, right?  Everyone got that?  Good, because as we progress in Amazing, I believe we're going to discover that Pete waits until Felicia gets just enough help to take the edge off before he reverses his position and enters into a romantic relationship with her.  Just like he did with Dawn Starr.  

Ick... just writing that stupid name dropped my IQ ten points, and it's not like I've got a lot to spare.

See you Tuesday!

Trainin', Mom-Surprisin', Slappin' Fun!

So I went through about seven issues of Amazing Spider-Man and came up with nothin', but then I get to the first story arc of the Black Cat from Amazing Spider-Man #194 and 195 and it has everything we love!

It has ODD NAMES! (tm!)

Well, that is an unfortunate handle.  Seriously, don't give your kids a name that is a pun.  Life is hard enough.

It has RANDOM  SLAPS! (tm!)

Slap her back, Pete.  No jury would ever convict you.

It has the ORIGIN MONTAGE! (tm!): 

Apparently she "trained for years" wearing the same blue leotard.

I presume the cat is there for symbolism only, because most cats aren't interested in you enough to watch you do stuff unless you're using a can opener.

Not that I have anything against cats.  I love cats, but they tend to do their own thing.

Anyway, it even has FUN WITH OUT OF CONTEXT DIALOGUE! (tm!)

And finally, the OFF-CAMERA DEATH! (tm!):

I admit I fell for that last one.  I was pretty young when I read this the first time, and I naively thought they were being awesome by just having May pass away off-camera.  Of course, now I realize that there was no way they were going to end the never-ending "Poor Aunt May's Weak Heart!" storyline, but it would have been awesome had they really gone that way.

See you tomorrow!

Reefer and Satan, Together Again

Since we looked at the Shield story on Friday, you knew we just had to check out the Comet story from Pep Comics #2.

You know how when you were a kid, you used to think you could write comics?  You could have written this one.  Guaran-dang-teed.

Ooooooo!  Scary!  But the Comet will not abide it!  HE SHALL NOT!

I think if the monster has a "headquarters," we're kind of giving something away here.  Anyway...

The man's name is "Reefer."  Okay, that was awesome.

THE TRUCK APPROACHES, MY DARK LORD!

Now I realize I don't always read things that carefully, but there is nary an origin story for Satan, so I can only assume he's the Biblical version.  

I wonder if it's any coincidence that "Reefer" works for "Satan."  The Devil's Parsley shall not pass mine lips, it shan't!  

Anyway, the Comet gets himself caught, because we've got to fill up a page, and he breaks his visor:

Okay, so you recognize that the visor is the only thing that keeps those disintegrating rays from dissolving anything he looks at, right?

Except when it doesn't:

Now, we're either glossing over the fact that his eyes should have taken out the blimp on sight (not to mention his right hand there), or he's flying with his eyes closed and is just a very good guesser.  Frankly, I think it would have been very entertaining if he'd had to fly with his eyes closed, running into things like birds into windows:

I wonder if they have any radio towers around here... ZZZZAP!  THUD!

Did you make those sound effects in your head?  Because you were supposed to.

Anyway, now that it's convenient to the telling of the story, the beams do their "visor-lifty" thing:

And, without any real explanation of who was responsible for it, the story just... well, it just comes to an end:

I guess that settles that.

See you tomorrow!