The Best Heroes Limit Their Good Deeds to Those of a Specific Occupation

Can you believe all the stuff you got for your dime in Pep Comics #1?  Quantity is always better than quality!  Today we take a look at "The Press Guardian."  Origin paragraph time!:

Hmmm... it sounds like the series should have been called "The Press Guardian otherwise Known as the Falcon" if that was the case, but it was decades before The Artist Formerly Known as Prince made long names a thing.

Also, no one in the story has actually met the Falcon yet, so I think it's premature to say that he "aids the Daily Express."  I think it's more along the lines of "he's gonna aid the Daily Express."

And why is the Daily Express fighting crime?  That's a pretty weak law enforcement presence you must have there.

And, of course, all comic book nerdlingers have noticed that the name "the Falcon" would be revived by Marvel Comics and the name "Central City" would be "acquired" as the home town of the Silver Age Flash.  And note that the reporter's name is "Flash Calvert."  Neat, huh?  

Anyway... apparently the police force is pretty lame indeed, because they let reporters go into crime scenes:

I don't know about you, but I'm hearing the voice of Chief Wiggum in my head for every cop there.

Why shouldn't you let reporters into crime scenes?  Thusly:

Well, it was evidence before you destroyed the chain of custody and got your DNA and fingerprints all over it.  Quit helping.

Anyway, Flash Calvert is apparently like Lois Lane because he goes snooping around and is captured by mobsters.  Apparently, the police need reporters to do criminal investigative work and reporters need costumed heroes to actually enforce the laws.  I guess the police just run the jails or something.  It sounds like a pretty self-contained economy, if you think about it. 

Let's see, he beats the bad guy "unmercifully" until...

he is forced and intimidated into writing a confession.

Oh yeah.  That'll hold up in court.

I don't know why he picked the name "Falcon."  He doesn't really have anything "Falcony" going on.  I don't think you should be allowed to choose your nickname.  And do I really need the caption box telling me the Falcon refused to reveal his identity?  I mean, I can read the dialogue and figure that out quickly enough.

You can tell an evening of drinking a bottle of hard liquor in an empty apartment is in both of their futures, can't you?

Any last words for our readers, Falcon?

Point taken, my friend.  Point taken.

See you tomorrow!

In Which I Introduce the Word "Visor-Lifty" to the English Language

So, I'm continuing my look at the Comet story from Pep Comics #1, and I believe I owe someone an amends.  Upon further review, it appears that you can always see his eyes through the glass in his visor, making yesterdays closing jabs inappropriate.  I apologize to... well, whoever gives a rip, which is probably no one.

Anyway, I read the rest of the Comet story, and ... this guy is badass.

But first, you have to find him.  Fortunately, someone has his home phone number:

I had thought that this person was calling his civilian ID, but the Comet shows up in costume, so I'm not sure how that worked.  No one bothered to explain it.  I mean, if I call Childhood Pal Scotty and he shows up in his secret identity as SILVER MAN (so named because he came back from the Israeli Games with a chest full of silver medals in gymnastics... true story!), it wouldn't be hard for me to connect the dots.  Why this guy knows the Comet's identity, I have no idea.  But he clearly does.

And I couldn't help but notice that the Comet apparently just hangs out around the house in full super-hero gear.  I'm not judging anyone here.  I'm just making an observation.

This panel cracked me up:

Egad, that's a nervous guy.  I'm nervous just looking at him.  Wavy lines in multi-colors and all that... pretty agitating stuff there.

Here's kind of a reverse Fun with Out of Context Dialogue (tm!):

I tell you, this is the last time I eat at the Cheesecake Factory!

Yeah, it's a cheap shot, but so is Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)

Speaking of which:

if so, can I have his shoes?  I seem to have disintegrated mine.

Now as I mentioned, the Comet is surprisingly badass.  Cooperate with him or don't, you're getting the stink-eye:

Way harsh.  He had disintegrated a crook's house a page or two earlier and I almost put that on, but it kind of paled in light of the subsequent murder spree the guy went on:

No!  No!  I've got this new invention I call "Purell!"

So think twice before you mess with the Comet.  All those stars and moons he's wearing?  That's the bait so he can go all "visor-lifty" on your ass...

That's right.  Visor-lifty.

See you tomorrow!