Fortunately, although I had little money, the farm was listed for sale quite cheaply due in no small part to its very unfortunately-shaped silo...
From Amazing Spider-Man #243:
Pete's found his attractiveness to Felicia Hardy considerably diminished by her annoying habit of having images of Pete's ex-girlfriends fly from her head and make snarky comments at random intervals...
And finally, from Amazing Spider-Man #245, another installment of He Probably Should Have Seen that Coming! (tm!):
Now, I barely got into the first few pages of Amazing 228 before I came upon this:
Applesauce and peas struck me as a pretty weird dinner combo. It appears that his main dish is applesauce, and there's some peas on the side. So, the guy could be on a soft and/or bland food diet. I worked in a hospital kitchen in high school, so I'm pretty hip and sympathetic to that sort of thing.
But I'm also a curious sort, so I used the Google to run a search on "applesauce and peas."
That doesn't sound even slightly appetizing, but maybe that's a thing for some people. I was trying to think of some weird food combination I liked, but I'm one of those people who is very methodical about eating: I finish eating one food item before I eat the next, and I don't like my food to touch. If I could talk Beloved into letting me eat out of those compartmentalized trays like they have in schools and prisons, I'd totally do it.
So, not that my dear readers are a particularly chatty bunch, but I was wondering if you had any weird food combos that you'd like to confess share? If so, put 'em in the comments! It might be fun!
So I'm not the only person who falls for the "Aunt May is dead" feint... at least in comic book lore.
No, Peter takes it hard, to the point that he's paid a visit by Disembodied Floating Heads (tm!) !
You know, by today's standards, that's really not a bad track record. The Punisher loses that many loved ones on a daily basis before he's had breakfast.
Anyway, Pete is so upset that here in Amazing Spider-Man # 196, that one of them even starts talking to him:
What's it gotten YOU? Geez, Nephew... I'M the one who died! I'm so sorry that my death has been such a downer FOR YOU.
Hey! Here's a Questionable Strategic Decision! (tm!)
I have this power that enables me to sense when I'm in danger... I think I'll IGNORE it!
A few pages late, Pete has one of those "d'oh!" moments:
I realize that Aunt May's death gave rise to quite the bout of self-pity, but if Pete can't recognize his old foes... who even have the courtesy to use an alias they've used BEFORE.... well, that's pretty sad.
Who is Dr. Rinehart, friends and neighbors? What does Dr. Rinehart DO in his true identity as one of Spidey's rogues? How many of us still think Aunt May is dead?
Okay, my lovelies, here's the deal: I am taking off for holiday vacay, so I'll be back on January 1st to ring in a new year! I hope everyone has a great holiday season for faiths of all stripes! Thanks again to everyone. I'm still amazed that more folks are reading now than ever before, and that's so encouraging I can't even describe it. Each and every one of you were a gift this year!
But before we say good-bye to 2012, let us finish up Pep Comics #6, starting with Sgt. (Effin') Boyle with some Fun with Out of Context Artwork! (tm!):
It's really funnier if I just kind of move on to the next thing, so I will. Which means it's off to the Kayo Ward story and more Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)
"Tie me up?" "Get these clothes off?"
Kayo's lapse was going to prove disastrous indeed! I'm not at all comfortable with where that's going. It brings to mind Ned Beatty in Deliverance.
Lastly and perhaps leastly, we have Bentley of Scotland Yard.
Okay, follow me. John Baker peers into an open furnace and...
... okay, got it? Remember that because it's important.
Keep it in mind as I make a totally unrelated joke:
Barney Reyman and John Baker both had a weakness for Disembodied Floating Heads (tm!).
Okay, back to the furnace thing. Now his son does the exact same thing his father did and....
See the pattern here?
YA THINK, BENTLEY?
And then Bentley decides that the only way to learn their fate is to....
This is really not Bentley's finest hour. Sadly, he survives. As usual, things get way too wordy for me to learn who was doing what and why, but I'm sure it made more sense than sticking your face in a furnace.
And that's it for me, Dear Ones! I'll see you January 1st!
A new feature that Google put on in my absence is the ability for me to check out the stats on my page. It doesn't tell me anything personal, but it gives me an idea of whether or not folks have rediscovered the magic of our little comic book funhouse. I was especially wondering since you folks are so dang quiet in the comments.
Well, lo and behold, traffic is dang near back to where we were in our heyday. So, even though you are a crowd of few words, I appreciate the hundreds of eyeballs that have put me back into your rotation. It's amazing, and very gratifying. So a big "thank you" to everyone for coming back after my lengthy hiatus.
So how can I thank you? By reading All-Flash Quarterly #5, so you don't have to! And it's a surreal one, to be sure. For example, it has talking horses:
And seriously, I know you kids don't believe this, but we comic book nerdlingers were tormented back in the day for reading comics because folks thought they were for people to stupid to read "real" books. I cannot imagine the grief that would have been heaped upon me by my cruel peers had the talking horses come to light. I mean, Gardner Fox is awesome. He gives us goofiness of Billy Haney-esque proportions, but this is just an invitation to a beating for your loyal readers.
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM CMNS: Know what the most dangerous room in the house is? The bathroom? The kitchen? I would have thought so, but apparently not. It's the darkroom. It's a place where people used to develop photographs back in the time of the Spanish Revolution or something, and it appears it was very dangerous:
A DISCLAIMER FROM CMNS REGARDING THE PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Hmmmmm... I've got a good willing suspension of disbelief, but I Googled "has anyone ever died in a darkroom" and it goose-egged. I presume there was going to be some kind of follow-through. So, never mind. You probably don't have a darkroom in your house anyway. I guess this was the worst PSA ever.
No, wait... HERE'S the worst PSA ever:
Apparently, in the 1950's, the difference between being a homosexual and being a pedophile was a moot distinction. "Dangerous as smallpox," it was!
Actually, before I was distracted by The Adventures of Lazy "Walkin' is for Chumps" Jimmy and His New Best Friend Creepy Ralph , I was looking for this:
What do you think? Eh? Eh?
Hello?
Anyone there?
Okay, back to comics.
The Flash is not fooled by your paltry attempts at Photoshopping, 1940's photographers!
and... AND
That's right, Jay! Any photographer knows that purple grass is a cool dusky... color.
Too much detail. Egad, we've gone from talking horses to a photography seminar.
Enough of that. Remember yesterday when I talked about "electric baseball"? Well....
They were actually pretty close in their artist's rendition! Cool, huh?
This was developed by Jim Prentice, who filed a patent on Electric Baseball in 1927, when he was a mere 17 years old. This particular version was produced from 1938 to 1941. All-Flash Quarterly #4 came about in 1942, so the seed company probably bought out his leftovers for a song.
To be fair, though, I doubt the profit margin on seeds really justifies giving out top tier merchandise as premiums to your sales force. I'm just guessing, of course. I've never been in the seed industry. I probably shouldn't assume, but it seems reasonable.
So I'm still going through All-Flash Quarterly #1 and I've got to admit I didn't realize that it was common knowledge that Joan was the girlfriend of the Flash. But the Disembodied Floating Heads (tm!) don't lie:
And sure enough, I get to the second story (with the first appearance of legendary Golden Age badguy, the Monocle) and it appears that anyone paying attention knows that the Flash and Joan have a thing:
Hmmmm... the Monocle had enough sense to keep detailed records on everyone in law enforcement, yet he didn't put it together that Joan was tight with Jay Garrick long before he became the Flash?
And if I were Joan, I'd be a little bit nervous about everyone knowing I was keeping company with the main crimefighter in Keystone City. You know, the one with the secret identity. So if they wanted to get to him, really the only choice is to come after...
Oh, come on, Joan! You had to see that coming! Did they not have peepholes in the 1940's? Just because some strange men knock on the door doesn't mean you have to swing it wide open!
Jay, what'll you do? What'll you do?
Well, I guess you could make Joan some nice hats. She probably wouldn't see that coming at this point.
Forget the brains, I'm more impressed with that rockin' mustache.
And he wasn't that bright, either. This was the big death trap he set for the Flash:
Although it apparently had some degree of effectiveness because the Flash seems quite stymied. And I'm no great scientist like the Flash or anything, but I would think that the real Monocle is the guy who isn't just a head resting on a torso.
Again, which one isn't just a floating head? I'd shoot that one first and see how that turned out for me.
Well I hate to backseat drive, but you may have just over-thought things a bit. It's a common problem for Golden Age Villains.
Hey, you know what we haven't seen in a long time? Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)
To be fair, the last one didn't make a lot of sense in context, either.
Sometimes, I get e-mails asking me how I find the material for this site. It's all in how you look at things. F'rinstance, take Avengers # 270-276. On the surface of it, there's an epic storyline wherein the son of Baron Zemo organizes a dozen super-villains who not only overwhelm our heroes and take over Avengers mansion, but many of said bad guys would form the core roster of the Thunderbolts, one of the few titles started in the 1990's that is still going strong today. Why this isn't in TPB form, I don't know, because this was a highlight of Avengers in the 80's.
This site supports itself. Time and materials needed to bring you the laughs is a labor of love from me to you. However, there are a countless number of innocent souls out there who do need your support. Find your nearest Animal Rescue group with this link and dontate your time, money and love to them. Thanks!
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