How that Suits Lew... Who, Appropriately Enough, Usually Wore Suits

More silliness from Pep Comics #7...

That's probably a good strategy.  I don't know how many people would buy a ticket to stare at a convalescent.  Lew was shrewd.  "Shrewd Lew," nobody called him... but they probably should have.

Speaking of names...

I'm not trying to make excuses for the guy, but maybe he's a little slow in "learning the ways of the righteous" because you're calling him JOODAR THE EVIL.  If you referred to him as "Joodar, the Work in Progress" or even "Joodar, the Morally Conflicted" he might be a little less resistant to personal growth.

Tay Ling quickly regretted her decision to spend her summer vacation in Florida...

What fun!  See you Monday!

Slup! Slup! Slup! Giff Me MORE!

From Pep Comics #4....

They may be courageous, but the Tong hasn't figured out the "work smarter, not harder" approach.  If you can't fight back against the brass warriors, why not just shoot their flesh-and-bone commander?  She threatens your life... you shoot her!

Maybe it's a cultural thing.

And if you weren't inclined to shoot her before, I give you:

In other words, Fu Chang (... International Detective) can do all the heavy lifting while Princess just sits there and looks pretty.  What a deal!

Are you ready for another team-up?  Because the Midshipman meets the Wizard!  Or The Midshipman meets The Wizard!  Either way, buckle your seatbelts! 

I'm starting to see why most characters from the Silver Age forward duke it out when they first meet one another, because that was pretty lame.  And my expectations for a team-up between the Wizard and the Midshipman were pretty dang low to begin with.

The only thing that can salvage this for me is a shot of a Nazi Officer getting a tub of Saurbraten on his head.

Oh, comics.... you always come through for me just when I need you the most.

My Super Brain, Drugs, and the Metric System

Apparently, the qualifications for having a "super-brain," were a bit lower back in the day:

So we're supposed to get all weak in the knees because he correctly identified three people in uniform/costume?  Slow down, Wizard!  Let me catch my breath!  

And he even correctly identified himself. 

And now, a public service message from Fu Chang.... International Detective:

It's like every Afterschool Special I ever watched.

Meanwhile, let's check in on Sgt. Effin' Boyle...

Ten to one... or as we count here in the USA, three to one.  That Metric System gets a little complicated when you try to convert it to ours.

That reminds me... remember the Metric Marvels?

This was back in the day when we were going to convert to the Metric System.  The system itself was actually easy to grasp, but everyone insisted that you had to know the formulas to convert our current system to Metric and vice versa.  That involved a lot of math, and we as a culture just weren't going to do that.  Had they just said, "We're following the Metric System now," and switched everything, it probably would have worked out.  But some people just won't relax unless you're forced to do things the hard way.

Thusly:

See?  5/8th of a mile?  Screw you, Metric System!

Ah, memories.

See you tomorrow!

I'm Naming My Next Band Tiger-Devil Worship Cult. DIBS!

When you're looking at an installment of Fu Chang... International Detective like I did here from Pep Comics #2, you notice that it really boils down to three things.  First, that bad guys apparently have access to a mighty  power but they have enough professional courtesy not to strike while someone else is keeping Fu Chang... International Detective busy...

So, it's not like the Tiger-Devil Worship Cult just came upon their Tiger-Devil creature.  They were just waiting their turn.  Just because they're evil, doesn't mean they're rude.  Anyone who lives in the South knows what an important distinction that is.  Bless your heart.

The second is that little chess pieces are badass

Yup.  That ear-pulling move was the finisher.

And thirdly, and I cannot stress this enough...

Fu Chang... International Detective will cut you.  He will find you, and he will cut you.  Be so advised.

See you tomorrow!

The Degraded Hands of the Illustrious and Superlative Fu Chang... International Detective's Enemies!

Sorry for the late post, my lovelies!  But it'll be worth it because today we take a look at...

And since this is Pep Comics, you know we're going to get a paragraph's worth of origin:

Did you get all that?  If so, can you explain it to me?

It seems like they probably could have milked a whole story out of that paragraph, but Pep Comics apparently doesn't believe in origin issues.

Apparently, there were two kinds of Asians back in the Golden Age:

Near-Caucasian, and Neon Yellow.  I guess that's how you could tell a good Asian from an evil Asian, because it seems that they were color-coded, at least in the world of Fu Chang... International Detective.

It kind of surprised me that they got away with this story.  Apparently, tapping in to the magic of the chess pieces involved idol-worship:

My parents would have blown a gasket.  And just to make sure we're clear, let's call the idol a graven image:

Yeah, there you go.  Wow.  Try getting away with that these days.  There would be some Fundamentalist watchdog group all over that.  I'm probably inviting a boycott just re-presenting it.

Anyway, the first case of Fu Chang... International Detective was pretty standard stuff other than the ability to bring chess pieces to life and have them run around and do little errands for him.  And, of course, we have to end with the hero being completely subservient to the damsel in distress:

I don't know if anything became of the Illustrious and Superlative Fu Chang... International Detective and Tay Ming, but Jay Garrick never licked Joan's boots like that back in the 40's and they're still married to this day.  Watch and learn, my friends.

See you tomorrow!