So, I'm checking out some Public Domain comics, and I'm reading the old Daredevil series. It's good Golden Age fun, but it's hard to come up with panels because most of these are microfiche.
But I can't ignore any character named Daredevil, can I? No, that would just be wrong.
Daredevil was cool in that he had an inexplicably unlimited supply of boomerangs and a spiked belt. Either one of those things are cool, but together they are bitchin'.
If you learn nothing else, learn this:
When Tonia comes to your house in the middle of the night, you probably shouldn't open the door.
Hey! What did I just say?
This is what happens when people don't listen to me. They get strangled. That's right - Every time someone doesn't listen to me, they end up getting strangled. So pay attention.
And while I hate to judge people by their appearance:
I'm pretty sure Parks has issues. I'm a little surprised no one else is noticing.
Hey! It's Nightro! You know a character is going to be awesome when his name is mis-spelled on the cover, which it was in the previous issue:
It's understandable that someone thought "Nitro" was the right way to spell it. See, back before texting and before someone thought substituting "z"'s for "s"'s was some bit of urban badassery, deliberately mis-spelling things so that people wouldn't realize you couldn't spell anything if your life depending on it wasn't so common, as people generally tried to speak and write as if they had actually read a book once in their lives.
I don't think I'd ever really heard of Nightro before, but he was basically a much less cool version of Dr. Mid-Nite, right down to the "I'm blind but I can see using these dark goggles" gimmick. And make no mistake, it's the exact same gimmick. Put a crescent moon on his hood, and you've got Dr. Mid-Nite, only Nightro had a dog while Dr. Mid-Nite had Blackout Bombs. Still, if DC sued the publishers of Captain Marvel because they thought Cap was too similar to Superman (which wasn't the case because Cap is awesome and Superman sucks), I'm surprised they let that one go.
See you Monday!
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6 comments:
Wow. I think this might be the best post you have put up so far.
That's what I always say when someone is strangling me. I say "Cut it out." Might throw in a "Hey, stop it."
Obviously Parks is on crack or speed or something. I mean just look at him.
Also I like how on the cover of the comic they tell you that you don't need to read the whole story to see if Daredevil wins or not just turn straight to the answer on page 11.
"...Nightro had a dog while Dr. Mid-Nite had Blackout Bombs"
Doc also had an animal sidekick; an owl named Hootie!
All sarcasm aside, I'm kind of impressed by that comic cover using a mirror like that. It's not easy to draw that kind of image and make it look right.
Issues? Dude, Parks doesn't have "issues", he's friggin' luminescent! Either that or those are motion lines and he's vibrating like a jack hammer. Which would tie in with MarvelX42's theory about crack. Hmm...
Yup. Crack. Look at his eyes. He wouldn't be able to close those things if he wanted to.
Holy Carp!
Tonia killed Thurston Howeel III.
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