Crime is Unsportsmanlike Conduct Monday!

I've been married a long time, almost 20 years now. I think what encourages Beloved to stick around despite my many shortcomings is that I have no interest in sports of any kind. It has no bearing on my existence as to how well Randy Roidrage and the rest of the overpaid Birmingham Buttslappers play their games on a weekly basis.

So you can imagine how excited I was to find a complete set of Superpro:


Nothing says "We're desperate for you to buy this" like putting Spider-Man in the opening story. For a character with such little potential, I think they would have needed Spider-Man, the X-Men, the Avengers, and three different versions of Wolverine for this to generate any serious interest.

Although this guy had the right idea:


"Super-Football Man" isn't a dumber name than "Superpro." In fact, it's much more expository. "Superpro" could mean a pro at anything.

Superpro apparently has the skills of everyone who plays football. I guess. I really didn't pay that much attention. But he's place-kicking someone here:



And he speaks in football jargon:



And I don't know if this is called anything other than "tackling," but he's doing it here:



And here, he's speaking in football jargon and dropping names to show you he's really cool and we should like him because he likes Spider-Man and Daredevil and we do as well so we should all buy this book, shouldn't we?:



And finally, an endorsement from Spider-Man himself:



Wow, these are terrible. I don't know if I'm going to be able to go through them all, but I'm going to try. See you tomorrow!