Friday, May 16, 2008

Emotional-Abuse-of-Animals-Plane-Crashing-Ship-Sinking-Friday!

From Adventure Comics #364:


A good Legionnaire would never consider abusing an animal. Physically.


When you find yourself emotionally abusing a caped horse, monkey, dog, cat, and whatever Proty was, you probably need to change your prescription. I mean, you're emotionally abusing a caped horse, monkey, dog, cat, and whatever Proty was.


Check out the instructional flying chart:


Yeah, I don't want to take any flying course that obviously expects your plane to become a bifurcated flaming airborne mass at one time or another. Let's at least pretend to have a little optimism here...

Cap's Hobby Hints showed up almost every issue. They were usually pretty helpful if you were into building models, which I think was a big assumption of your average comic reader, but anyhoo. This "hint" is my personal fave.


So, basically, if a model gets damaged, throw it away. It's crap, suitable only for representing all the other crap in the ocean.

8 comments:

Sea_of_Green said...

I admire anyone who can find a way to include "bifurcated flaming airborne mass" in a legitimate sentence.

Anonymous said...

Brainy is just jealous because Comet tried to steal his girl.

chris said...

There were a shipload of ads for model kits in the comics of yesteryear. I wouldn't even know where to get one today.

Anonymous said...

Cap's hobbies obviously didn't include aquariums because the chemicals from the average model glue and fish do not mix well

SallyP said...

Did the other Legionaires ever rise up and decide to hold Braniac's head upsidedown in a toilet for being such a jerk all the time? I'd pay good money to see that! Or to have Beppo give him rabies.

De said...

Good thing Brainy wore that complete bodysuit, otherwise he'd have to change his name to Wedgie 5.

Allergy said...

I see a red star on that plane. My guess is the flying course isn't going to turn you into a flaming wreck, but rather, teach you how to do same to those damned Commie pinkos... or possibly, the bad guys from Rush's 2112 album.

I remember those Cap's columns being utterly useless to me as well, and I seem to remember a few being about model trains as well. Mainly, though, I'm just pleased to realize that this is by the same artist who drew Jerry the Jitterbug.

D.B. Echo said...

"And as the chemicals in the glue and the plastic and the paint in your model ship leach out into the water of the fishtank, the corpses of the dead fish will make the scene even more dramatic!"