Don't Let Roy Thomas Name Your Child

Although I've never written comics for a living, I think you just know when you've got a loser on your hands. You paint yourself into a corner, that plotline isn't working out or you just can't stand the character and can't imagine why anyone would care if you just had the whole thing resolved off-panel with a wink and a nod. Hmmmmmm..... that's kinda what they did with the entire Primal Force series, and we saw how that went, so you probably should see things through, but get things wrapped up as quickly as possible.

That being said, you don't have to be lazy. Granted, no one cared about the 1980's update of Johnny Thunder, and only 3 or 4 more readers than that gave a rip about Infinity, Inc., but come on, Roy..... were these the best names you could think up?



Seriously, what is that? Did you just slam your fist on the keyboard, and that's what you came up with? I paid a buck and a quarter of 1980's money and this is what you gave me?

Yes, this was a kidney stone of a plotline, but did you have to salt the earth to make sure no one ever planted anything there again? Granted, I don't see a Mzzttexxal Loves Zzlrrrzzzm mini-series climbing up the charts any time soon, but we had all written Cat-Man off twenty years ago, and look what happened. Next thing you know, we've got one of the silliest characters of all time, The Duke of Oil, kickin' butts and takin' names



and who saw that coming? We're talking about a hillbilly robot, and Judd Winnick made him a dang entertaining read. You never know, so let's not just take a dump on our efforts before we send them to press, what say?

Still on topic: Be careful what you name your babies, young parents. That cute little bundle of joy is going to be an elderly person some day, and it just ain't right for your descendants to have to tell their third grade show and tell class they spent Thanksgiving with Grandma Britney or Great Aunt Trinity in the nursing home. Learn from Roy Thomas and show some foresight.